Memories and Missing You
by Maureen Mooney
Summary: A look into the lives of Gibbs and Shannon and their past. In the present, Gibbs and Ziva rely on each other to help the other heal. Gibbs/Shannon past. Gibbs/Ziva present. Deals with mature themes.
1. Silent Night

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

If there was one holiday Leroy Jethro Gibbs dreaded the most it was Christmas. It was not that he minded the TV and newspaper being full of advertisements feeding into consumerism, or the carols that seemed to be playing in the stores even before Halloween these days, or even the beautiful decorations. No, what Gibbs minded the most was the loneliness he felt. Of course, he would never admit to being lonely but he felt it all the same. He missed Shannon, god, how he missed her and his little girl, Kelly. He would have done anything in the world to bring them back if he could. Now his father was here and digging around in the attic. What his father was looking for Gibbs could only wonder. He listened to the muffled curses coming from above his living room before heading down to work on his boat. He might get some sanding done before his dad came back down.

He had barely picked up the sand paper when Jackson Gibbs called, "Leroy, where are you? I found something in the attic."

Gibbs sighed and headed upstairs. Whatever his dad found was sure to bring back memories and he sure as hell would rather forget.

"Yeah, dad, what've you got?"

"I found these boxes, and a tree box. I thought we could decorate for Christmas." Gibbs stared at his dad in disbelief. He had to be kidding. Jackson knew that Christmas was Shannon's favorite holiday. There was no way he was decorating for Christmas. "What do you say, Leroy?"

"I don't think so, dad. I mean, I'm never home. Seems like a waste of work. Why don't we just go work on my boat?"

"Enough with the boats, Leroy. You can't even get them out of your basement. Why build something just to tear it down or let it rot?"

"I get them out."

"Yeah, how?"

"Secret." Gibbs pulled the tree box towards him and began to pull out branches, sorting them by the colored ends. He knew the best way to shut his dad up was to work on something else. Soon his dad joined him in the sorting and the silence.

A few hours later the tree was assembled and the lights were on the branches. "You want to use these chili pepper lights too, Leroy?"

Gibbs glanced at the lights his dad was holding. Shannon's chili pepper lights. She had hung them in their kitchen because she liked the soft glow.

"Nah, the white lights are fine, dad."

"Hey Leroy, you remember that Christmas you spend with Shannon's family? The year there was a blizzard?"

"Yeah, dad. I remember." He did remember. Due to the blizzard, they had been stuck at Shannon's parents for a week. It had been a week straight from hell, in Gibbs' opinion. Shannon's too, she could only tolerate her extended family for so long. Gibbs had woken up one morning to find her gone from the bed. A quick look out the window revealed that she was bundled up and shoveling out their truck. Gibbs had smirked and quickly dressed and grabbed the extra shovel to help his wife.

_ Shannon was standing in the tiny kitchen in their military base housing giving Gibbs time to check out her ass and legs; she was making dinner judging by the smells that were wafting through the house to the front door. Gibbs shut the door quietly. _

_ "Jethro!" Shannon squealed and ran straight to him, hugging him in delight and bringing his lips down to hers for a kiss. Gibbs kissed her and grinned. No matter how quietly he shut that front door, she was always running to meet him. He picked her up, by her thighs, and carried her into the kitchen. _

_ "Hi baby, miss me much?" _

_ "Mmm… very much," she said, placing her head on his shoulder. _

_ "So, what've you got?" _

_ "I'm not a recruit, Jethro." _

_ "Sorry, old habits die hard." _

_ "You just broke rule number six. Never apologize it's…" _

"…_A sign of weakness, I know," Jethro finished for her. "Am I allowed to ask what's for dinner or does that break another rule?" Gibbs asked. _

_ "Nope, it doesn't and yes you are. I made beef pot roast, with potatoes, carrots, celery and onions. There's brownies in the oven and I was just finishing a fruit salad when you got home. Set the table?" _

_ "Humm… I musta done somethin' good. Want to tell me what it is?" _

_ "You'll see," Shannon smirked and her green eyes sparkled a sure sign she was up to something. Gibbs grabbed plates, small bowls for the fruit salad, napkins and utensils and began to set their card table for dinner. _

_ "Our furniture is crap, Shan." _

_ "Hey, your Marine salary isn't exactly bringing us heaps of cash." _

_ "Hey! I love the corps!" _

_ Shannon kissed his cheek lightly. "I know you do, babe. Besides, I like our furniture." _

_ "The table wobbles." _

_ "Then shove some cardboard under the leg." _

_ "This really doesn't bother you, does it?" _

_ "Why should it, I have everything I want right here." Shannon hugged Gibbs and dished up dinner. _

_ When they finished eating, Gibbs helped himself to a brownie and asked, "So why did I deserve my favorite dinner again? I haven't been especially good. Unless you're bribing me." _

_ Shannon sighed. "Okay. My dad called. Don't look like that." _

_ "Like what?" _

_ "Like someone pissed you off." _

_ "Maybe someone did." _

_ "Ya think? Anyway, he wants us to come for Christmas and stay a few days." _

_ "Oh, god, Shan, do we have to?" _

_ "They're my family, Jethro. We don't have to see Jackson if you don't want. I did send him a card. I filled out your vacation request forms." _

_ "Some vacation." _

_ "Leroy Jethro Gibbs! I thought you loved me." _

_ "I do. I'm not gonna win this one, am I?" _

_ Shannon crossed her arms and grinned, "Nope. Give up, tough guy." _

_ "Christmas with the Fieldings. Joann and Frank are gonna kill me." _

_ "A Marine is scared of my mom and dad?" _

_ "Marines don't get scared." _

_ "Oh yeah?" Shannon smirked._

_ "We get even. I'll do K.P. You go start packing." _

_ "You too, we leave in the morning for Stillwater. And if you try to delay us, I will kick your butt." Gibbs groaned. It was gonna be a long holiday. _

"Hey, Leroy, you okay?"

"Yeah, dad, just remembering," Gibbs said, reaching for an ornament and placing it on the tree.


	2. Family Matters

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS. Any characters you do not recognize, I own.

"Remembering what, Leroy?"

"Leave it alone, dad."

"Okay, just asking."

"Well don't."

_ Shannon had packed, Gibbs realized as he hauled the duffle bags to the truck the next morning. He noted the book she slipped into her purse. _

_ "Please tell me you are not going to read the whole time and leave me at the mercy of the Fieldings," Gibbs asked, groaning. _

_ "Of course not, Jethro, but having a book on the nightstand is a good thing for me." _

_ "Reading cures insomnia?" Gibbs raised an eyebrow and smirked. _

_ "Shut up. At least you have go pills and no-go pills." _

_ "I'd share my Ambien but the last time I did, you started tripping, remember?" _

_ Shannon nodded, "I have no desire whatsoever to repeat that experience again. It was terrifying!" _

_ "It was only a hallucination, Shan. Do you really think I would just let you free-fall with no parachute without trying to save you?" Gibbs put an arm around his wife and hugged her tight. _

_ "No, but I still had nightmares for weeks." _

_ "I know, I was there, remember? How about we get some coffee before hitting the road?" _

_ "Excellent idea. Rule number twenty-three, never mess with a Marine's coffee if you want to live." _

_ "You know me too well, baby." _

_ "Should hope I do, since I married you." _

_ "And I still have no idea why you did." _

_ "Because I love you." _

_ "You too."_

_ Gibbs started the car and drove off to their favorite coffee shop. Once they had coffee, Gibbs began the long drive from South Carolina to Stillwater, Pennsylvania. Thanks to Gibbs' driving, they made it there by nightfall. Gibbs pulled the bags up to the front door and opened it. Shannon usually called out to everyone while Gibbs tried to avoid everybody for as long as possible. Shannon tried to walk up to the door but slipped on a patch of ice. _

_ "Oh! Jethro! Ow!" Shannon's cries rang out in the still night. _

_ "Jesus, Shan, you okay?" _

_ "Yeah, think so. Ow. Ah hell, help me up would you?" _

_ Gibbs pulled his wife into his arms and carried her to the front door. Joann stood in the doorframe alternating glaring at Gibbs and shooting worried looks at Shannon. _

_ "Shannon, oh, honey, are you all right? That was quite a fall. Jethro, why didn't you give her a hand?" _

_ "I'm fine, mom. Really." _

_ "I was busy and in case you hadn't noticed, Shan's an independent woman." Shannon glared at Gibbs._

_ He smirked back at her. _

_ "Let's get you inside, cold out," Joann said. _

_ After the obligatory hugs from her family members, Shannon tried to get down from Gibbs' arms. _

_ "Ow!" She grabbed onto Gibbs' arm and he picked her up again. _

_ "Shan, baby, what hurts?" _

_ "My ankle, Jethro. The left one. It's just sprained. But it hurts like hell."_

_ Joann shot Gibbs a glare, "You taught my daughter to swear?" _

_ "I taught my wife lots of things, Mrs. Fielding." _

_ "Gibbs!" Shannon hissed, hitting him lightly on the shoulder. _

_ "Now, if you all don't mind, I'll take Shannon upstairs and we'll see you in the morning." _

_ Everyone chorused goodnights and Gibbs carried Shannon upstairs to her childhood bedroom. He eased her gently down on the bed and began to prod at her left ankle. _

_ "Ow, shit, Gibbs, that fucking hurts!" _

_ "Sorry Shan, I was just assessing the damage. I have an ace bandage packed that should stabilize it and take some of the pain away. I also packed the ranger candy." _

_ "Can you predict the future now?" _

_ "Nope. Just following rule number nineteen." _

_ "Always anticipate a situation. I love you." _

_ Gibbs' kissed her forehead. "I know." _

_ He bandaged her ankle and gave her an ibuprofen that was 2000 milligrams, also known as ranger candy to those in the military. He helped her change into her pajamas and then curled up next to her for sleep. _


	3. Morning Comes Early

I do not own NCIS. Any characters you do not recognize, I own.

_ Gibbs was awoken by his wife's book light at 0430. He rolled over and groaned, "Could you at least try to sleep?" _

_ "I did, for about five and a half hours." _

_ "Hey, you're not reading. Any reason why?" _

_ "My book's in my purse, I can't get to it." _

_ "Well hey, since you can't read, how about cuddling with me?" _

_ "Sounds wonderful."_

_ Gibbs opened his arms and Shannon curled into them. "How's the ankle?" _

_ "Hurts like a bitch. When we're done cuddling, I want some ranger candy." _

_ "Did it help?" _

_ "It got me to sleep for a few hours." _

_ "Okay then."_

_ Shannon snuggled into Gibbs. "You smell good." _

_ "Why are you smelling me?" _

_ "Oh, come on. It was a complement, Jethro. Besides, I find your scent comforting." _

_ "So you're saying I smell?"_

_ "Yes, but in a good way. You smell like Axe phoenix body wash, bourbon, wood, Tide, and shaving cream. And I think it's sexy as hell." _

_ "Better not let Joann hear you say that." _

_ "Oh yeah, mom thinks I married you just because you know the answers to my crossword puzzles and feed my addiction to Scrabble." _

_ "Isn't that what most parents think about their children's spouses? And that the stork brings babies?" _

_ "True, I don't know what parent wants to imagine their child having sex ever." Shannon laughed lightly and kissed Gibbs softly._

_ Gibbs' watch beeped. _

_ "Trust your alarm to ruin a good moment, Jethro." _

"_Hey, it's time for my 0500 run." _

_ "You Marines and your fitness obsession," Shannon threw a pillow at Gibbs as he got up, "Go on, I'll be here. I'm going back to bed. Make sure there's coffee when you get back." _

_ "You should come with me." _

_ "I'm not running on a sprained ankle, Jethro." _

_ "Did I say you had to run? I'll carry you, piggy back. You weigh about as much as my go bag anyway." _

_ "I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted." _

_ "Pick whichever one you want and put on your sweats, don't want you getting cold." _

_ Running down the cleared sidewalks, carrying Shannon on his back allowed Gibbs to think and cleared his mind of the early morning fog his brain seemed to have. Since joining the corps he had felt that running calmed him down and helped him to think. Some times the sheer miles helped him to pound out a problem. Other times the exhaustion helped him to not think. Sometimes he felt he was running towards a solution and other times he knew he was just plain running away. And today, feeling his wife's curves against his back, he knew that all he wanted he carried in his arms. He loped back towards the house, taking the return three miles easy. Shannon might not have weighed much but she was solid muscle and Gibbs noticed now that she had gained a few pounds. He was happy about that because Shannon had always been very thin and a few pounds would not hurt her. _

_ When they made it back, Shannon's uncle Phillip, an old balding man sat at the kitchen table reading the paper. _

_ Phil always reminded Gibbs of a Butterball turkey, short and fat with stocky legs and flabby arms that flapped like wings. "Hey Jeremy, fill up this old man's coffee up would you?"_

_ Phil handed Gibbs his coffee mug and Gibbs saw the neon pink post-it notes arranged in a coaster format. Gibbs smirked. It was well-known in the Fielding family that Phil had an unhealthy obsession with post-its. _

_ "My name's Jethro, Phil, and here's your coffee." Gibbs handed Phil his coffee and began making a fresh pot, Gibbs' style, which meant very strong and black. _

_ "Thanks Jeffery." _

_ Gibbs rolled his eyes at Phil; took two coffee mugs, filled them and then helped Shannon up the stairs. _

_ "You should shower, Jethro. Before the line starts." _

_ "So now you are saying I smell?" _

_ "Yes, like sweat. It's not sexy. Go," Shannon pushed his chest slightly and indicated the door. _

_ "You know you said there was going to be a line for the showers later. Maybe you should just come with me." _

_ "Leroy Jethro Gibbs! I am not having sex with you in my parents shower!" Shannon hissed, and Gibbs could tell she was horrified. _

_ "Who said anything about sex? This way, you get clean, you get hot water, and in case your ankle bothers you, you have help." _

_ "Fine, but you are not getting any." _

_ "Isn't that grounds for divorce?" _

_ "Depends, are you religious?" _

_ "No." _

_ "And do you live in the United States of America?" _

_ "Yes." _

_ "Then the answer to your question is no." _

_ "You shoulda gone to law school." _

_ "Dad wouldn't pay, you know that." _

_ "Only 'cause he wanted to marry you off to some rich snob as a trophy wife."_

_ Shannon took Gibbs face in her hands as she stepped under the water with him, "Hey, I love you, remember? You, not anybody else." _

_ "Yeah, I know." _

_ "Let's get clean, Marine. We have food to make!" _

_ "And Uncle Phil to confuse. Hey, do you think he would let me play the quote game on his post it stash?" _

_ "Jethro, stop," Shannon laughed as she lathered up and began rinsing off. "You know, write a quote on each post it, place them around the house. Could be inspirational." _

_ "Could cause Uncle Phil to have a nervous breakdown. Hey, you're rinsed, move out of the way." After some playful splashing and a bit more washing, Jethro and Shannon got dressed and went down to the kitchen. _


	4. Enough to Feed an Army

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS. Any characters you don't recognize, I own.

_ Everyone knew Joann couldn't cook, so others rushed to step in before she could ruin anything edible. _

_ "How many people are we looking at feeding, Shan?" Gibbs asked as Shannon dug out skillets and pans. _

_ "Um, me, you, mom and dad, Uncle Phil, Aunt Marley, Uncle Arnold, Cousin Mary, Aunt Delia, Miss Brewster, Cousin Tom and Cousin Naomi." _

_ "I am making breakfast for 12 people? I was right. This is gonna be a long holiday." _

_ "Oh hush you. I figured scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, and toast for everyone." _

_ "Great idea." Gibbs grabbed a large mixing bowl and the two egg cartons Shannon handed him. He whipped up 20 eggs and added a bit of milk and a lot of cheese before oiling two skillets and putting most of the egg mixture in to cook. Shannon had gotten out the bacon and shaped sausage patties, and had put bread next to the toaster. As the food cooked, Shannon sliced up some bell peppers, tomato, onion and mushrooms as well as getting out the turkey sausage that Gibbs knew her dad bought for her. Shannon hated pork and refused to eat it most of the time._

_ Phil and Marlene his blonde haired, blue-eyed wife who preferred to be called Marley, both wandered into the living room as Gibbs shooed them from the kitchen. _

_ "Jethro, was that necessary?" Shannon asked. _

_ "Hell yes, Phil irritates me. And I know Marley irritates you." _

_ "She's family, Jethro." _

_ "So?" _

_ "So I'm not allowed to say she irritates me." _

_ "Shannon dear, I found this book on the living room table and I read the last page and oh, it sounds so exciting," Marley said. _

_ "That's great, Aunt Marley. That's my new book. I just got it and I don't want the ending ruined, okay?" _

_ "Oh, but wait until you hear this," Marley opened the back cover and began to read as Shannon groaned slightly. What was it with her Aunt Marley and reading the last page of people's books aloud, often before they'd even read the first page?_

_ " 'Rose looked happily up at Ferdinand and sighed. Come what may, they knew they could conquer anything so long as they were together. Nothing could keep them apart anymore. She was his and he was hers and forever was theirs.' It sounds like such a good story, doesn't it?" _

_ "Yeah, great story Marley. Listen, why don't you go sit with Phil while Shannon and I finish up here?" _

_ "Oh, okay, all I wanted was to share that wonderful story." _

_ "Okay, yeah, thanks. Good story." Gibbs hugged his wife as Marley went back to the living room. "Romance novels, Shan? Really?" _

_ "Oh shut up. Next time I am bringing a biography. That way I already know how it ends." _

_ "So I take it Hourglass Love is no longer something you want to read?" _

_ "Why bother? Thanks to Aunt Marley I already know how it ends. Rose ends up with Ferdinand and not Charlie." _

_ "Shannie!" _

_ "Oh god," Shannon groaned. _

_ "Aw shit," Gibbs said._

_ Together they said, "Naomi." _

_ Shannon's cousin, Naomi, bounded into the kitchen with a huge smile on her face. Her smile fell as she looked at Shannon's flat stomach. _

_ "No baby yet, Shannie?"_

_ Naomi was Phil and Marley's daughter and she was a few years older than Shannon. She had never been married and Gibbs strongly suspected that it was because of how all she ever wanted to discuss, think about or ask about was having babies. _

_ "No, not yet, Naomi." _

_ "Why? You and Jethro have been married almost two years!" _

_ "It just hasn't happened yet, Naomi." _

_ "Have you seen a doctor? Oh those stupid Army doctors that don't care about their patients wouldn't know anything. Jethro, why couldn't you have gotten a real job?" _

_ "I'm a Marine not an Army man. And the corps is a real job." _

_ "Oh whatever, you are still military. You should have asked Frank about joining the family business. How do you expect to care for our Shannie?" _

_ "Naomi, I'm fine really. And Jethro is a wonderful husband." _

_ "Fine but next time you come, I want you to have a baby," Naomi said, walking out of the kitchen and into the living room. _

_ "Oh that… that… that stupid, crazy, insane woman." _

_ "Easy Shan, she's baby-obsessed, you know that." _

_ "The very idea of you not caring for me." _

_ "Well, it isn't the rich life of the guy who owns the coal mines. Or the life you were used to. Maybe you should have married Bobby, made Frank happy, had babies for Naomi, gotten post-it stock for Phil." _

_ "Jethro!" _

_ "Collected last pages of books for Marley. Become part of the Daughters of the American Revolution with Joann." _

_ "Leroy Jethro!" _

_ "Made a pretty trophy wife for Bobby to amuse himself with when he got tired of the town sluts. Made the whole town of Stillwater proud!" _

_ "Leroy Jethro Gibbs! Where is all this coming from? What's gotten into you?" _

_ "I'm not good enough for you, I never was." _

_ Shannon sighed, "Jethro, for years I did everything for my family, tried to make everyone else happy. I knew it didn't matter what I wanted so long as they were happy. Then I met you. You were so kind and loving and amazing. My dad forbade me to see you or speak to you again. And I kept our letter writing a secret from everyone. When you sent me that plane ticket for Vegas, I agonized for weeks. I didn't know what I should do, what was expected of me. And then I realized that I didn't care. I was living for them, not for me. I got into Yale, for them. I was going to major in education and become a teacher, for them. I was supposed to marry Bobby, for them. And I wanted to live for me. I wanted to do what made me happy. So I got on that plane. You make me happy, Jethro. Living with you, being your wife, sharing my life with you. It's all I want, Jethro. It's the only thing I ever wanted enough to turn my back on my duty to my family. Yes, we're not rich. Yes, mom and dad hate you. But I love you. I love you so much, Jethro. Doesn't that mean anything to you at all?" Shannon's eyes were full of tears, making them glitter like emeralds. _

_ "Hey, yeah, it does. I know all that. And I was being an ass before. Love you, Shan. I can't imagine my life without you. It'd be lonely as hell, that's for sure." Gibbs kissed Shannon quickly and dished up breakfast for everyone before making omelets for him and Shannon. _

_ "That was quite the fight, Shannon dear, is Jethro usually that loud?" Joanne said._

_ "No mom, he just got frustrated." _

_ "I knew he should have joined your father's business. The corps is no place for my daughter's husband." _

_ "Mom, Jethro likes the corps." _

_ "Is that any excuse for neglecting his wife?" _

_ As Jethro came out of the kitchen with his and Shannon's plates, Shannon stood up and climbed onto her dining room chair. "Hey people, listen up. My husband is a Marine. I'm proud of him. He loves his job. He takes good care of me. He would do anything for me and I love him. So please keep all references to money issues, the corps being bad for Jethro or me being neglected to yourselves. Or better, yet, don't think about it at all. I sure don't. Thank you." Gibbs helped Shannon down and hugged and kissed her. _

_ "Who knew my wife was such a bad-ass?" He whispered in her ear. _

_ "I love you," Shannon whispered back._

_ The Fielding family sat around staring at Gibbs and Shannon. Gibbs took a big bite of his eggs. "Good eggs, Shan." _

_ "Thanks, Jethro." Shannon began to eat too. _

_ Eventually everyone in the family dug in and the only sound was of forks scraping across plates. Gibbs finished first. "Who's on K.P. duty, Shan?" _

_ "K.P. duty?" Asked Arnold, yet another uncle of Shannon's. But unlike the others, he was her favorite. _

_ "It stands for kitchen patrol, Uncle Arnold, military speak for who's cleaning up. And I think we are, Jethro," Shannon explained. _

_ "Ten-four." Gibbs said. _

_ "What's that one mean?" Arnold asked. _

_ "Means something like okay, got it, done, on it. Something like that," Shannon started to get up as she was speaking, but grabbed ahold of the table. _

_ "Whoa." _

_ "You okay, Shan?" _

_ "Slightly dizzy. I think I'm gonna be sick, Jethro." _

_ Gibbs picked up his wife and carried her into the bathroom, holding her hair back as she vomited. _

_ "You feeling okay, Shan? Was it the ranger candy?" _

_ "This isn't the meds, Jethro. I think I might be pregnant." _

_ "Whoa, wait, what makes you think you are, you know, pregnant?" _

_ "I have gained a few pounds." _

_ "Yeah but that's a good thing." _

_ "I've never had a regular cycle, you know that." _

_ "Yeah, I know but pregnant?" _

_ "Repeating it isn't going to make it go away, you know. And eggs, my mom could never eat eggs when she was pregnant either. You should hear the stories my dad tells." Shannon shuddered and carefully stood, and began to wash her hands. _

_ "Wow, okay, pregnant. Okay. I'm gonna be a daddy. Wow." _

_ "Stop acting so shocked. We both know it takes two to make a baby." _

_ "I know, just, wow. I'm happy." _

_ "I figured. You should go to the pharmacy, get a test, we should be sure, Jethro." _

_ "Why you sendin' me?" _

_ "Marine scared of pregnancy tests? They don't bite, Jethro." _

_ "Marines don't get scared." _

_ "Yeah, I know, they get even. Sending you because I don't want to go outside." _

_ "Okay, I'll be back soon." _

_ It wasn't until Gibbs got into town that he remembered that Stillwater didn't have a pharmacy. The only place to get the test would be the General Store. Gibbs cursed and walked into his father's store. _


	5. Positive

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS. Any characters you don't recognize, I own.

Warning: Mentions abortion. Don't like? Don't read.

_ The jingling of the bell above the door alerted Jackson Gibbs to the fact that he had a customer. What he did not expect was to see his son, Leroy. _

_ "Hey Leroy, what can I do for you?" _

_ "Just buyin' this, dad." _

_ "A pregnancy test? You and Shannon going to have a baby?" _

_ "I don't know, dad. That's why I'm buyin' the test." _

_ "Got the card she sent. She signed your name too. Just like every year. Think I'll get pictures after the baby's born?" _

_ "Don't know, dad, probably." _

_ "She's a good woman." _

_ "Yeah, she is." _

_ "You here for long?" _

_ "Just a few days, Shan's father guilted her into visiting." _

_ "I'd try that too if I thought it would work, Leroy." _

_ "Give it up, Dad." _

_ "You have a Merry Christmas then, Leroy and tell Shannon I said hello." _

_ "Will do, Dad. See ya." _

_ "Goodbye, son." _

_ Gibbs walked slowly back to the Fielding's house. He did not enjoy seeing his father. The two of them had fallen out after Gibbs' mom died and they had not fixed their relationship. When Gibbs got back, Shannon was throwing up again. Her mother was worried and hovering which Gibbs knew Shannon hated. _

_ "Jethro, you have my medicine?" Gibbs bit back a grin. His wife was lying to her mother. _

_ "Yeah, I got it, Shan. You want to go lie down?" _

_ "Yeah." _

_ "Okay." Gibbs helped her up the stairs and got her into the bathroom. _

_ "Thanks for covering for me, Jethro." _

_ "Not a problem. So, let's find out what the verdict is." _

_ Shannon peed on the stick and they both waited. Waiting seemed to take an eternity to Jethro. He had never been one to want to sit around. He was a man of action. Slowly, the little pink plus sign emerged. "Well, I guess we are having a baby, Jethro." _

_ "Guess so. What do we do with the test now?" _

_ "Wrap it in toilet paper and throw it away. Maybe then mom won't guess what it is." _

_ Gibbs squatted in front of Shannon. "Hey baby, is there some reason you don't want to tell your family we're pregnant?" _

_ "Yes, they'll tell me I'm too young, that I'm being irresponsible, that you can't support us." _

_ "They say all that anyway." _

_ "True, but I'm only 20, Jethro. I am not even old enough to drink yet." _

_ "Shan, do you not want to have this baby? You know I'm pro-choice. Just talk to me, let me know what you're thinking." _

_ "I do want to have the baby. I do, I'm just scared." _

_ "Hey, we're in this together. You don't have to be alone." _

_ "I know, but J, I… I just…" Gibbs only got called J when Shannon was having a hard time with figuring out what she wanted or when they were having sex. _

_ "You want to wait to tell your family." _

_ "Yeah, just until I feel a bit better about this, you know?" _

_ "Okay, but tell me something." _

_ "Anything. What is it, Jethro?" _

_ "You are sure you want to have this baby?" _

_ "Yes. Unless you don't want me to. Oh god, J, that's it, isn't it? We never discussed children and now I'm pregnant and you don't want to have a baby." _

_ "No, no, not at all. I'm thrilled, really I am. I just think we should tell your parents." _

_ "They're gonna eat me alive, Jethro." _

_ "No they won't. Phil will show you how to make a diaper out of post-its, Marley will read the last page of all your baby books aloud. Naomi will never stop holding it even when we really want her to. Your mom and dad will be mad until the baby comes. Then, once they hold it, they'll forget all about being mad and just be happy to be grandparents." _

_ "How do you know?" _

_ "Because I know your family, Shan. Much as I wish I didn't." _

_ "Okay, okay, let's tell them." _

_ Just then the door to the bathroom opened. "Oh sorry Shannon, honey, were you two um, doing things?" _

_ "Hey, Aunt Delia. No we weren't. Come on in." _

_ "Thanks hon. Marly is driving me crazy." _

_ Delia pulled a bottle of Apple Pucker out of her purse, undid the lid and took a long drink. _

_ "That's better," she slurred slightly. Gibbs noticed the bottle was half-gone. "I swear this family drives me nuts. Drink, Gibbs? Shannon?" _

_ "Sure, thanks Delia." Gibbs said, taking the bottle. _

_ "No problem. I always liked you, Jethro. No matter what that idiot sister of mine, Joann thinks. How come you don't want a drink, Shannon? It's your favorite." _

_ "Yeah, Aunt Delia, it is, but I'm… Jethro and I, we're… we're pregnant."_

_ Delia munched some cinnamon Altoids. "Breath mints, they keep you from smelling like booze. Pregnant, huh, Shannon? I remember pregnancy. They say it's the best nine months of your life and they lie like a rug. Thanks for lettin' me take the edge off, you guys." _

_ "Not a problem, Delia. You okay to walk?" _

_ "Fine, fine, just fine." _

_ Delia walked downstairs and as she got off the last stair, turned to the whole room and loudly, calmly and in a slurred voice announced, "Hey everybody, Shannon's pregnant. Merry freaking Christmas, huh?"_

_ Nine pairs of eyes stared in disbelief at Gibbs and Shannon. _

_ "I think I'm going to be sick again," Shannon whispered. _


	6. Save Me?

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS

Warning: details of cutting and mentions of torture and rape. Also mentions abortion. Don't like? Don't read.

A knock sounded on the door of Gibbs' home. He and his dad had long ago finished the tree. Jackson had gone up to bed. Gibbs got up and, with a hand on his gun, moved to the door. His team did not usually knock. The doorknob turned and Ziva walked in, heading for the stairs.

"Need something, Ziver?"

Ziva, startled, drew her knife. Gibbs was held at knife point until Ziva relaxed. "Sorry, Gibbs."

"Don't apologize."

"Sign of weakness, I know."

"Need something?"

"To talk."

"So, talk."

"If you would rather I not, I can just go."

"You came to me. You obviously picked me for a reason. So talk." Gibbs led Ziva to the couch and they both sat.

"I did not ask Tony because I did not need to be joked with. I did not ask Abby because she would be upset. I did not ask McGee because he would not know what to do. Neither would Palmer, and Ducky would only ramble."

"Like you're doing now, you mean?"

"I suppose so, yes."

"So what's the matter, Ziver?"

"It's about Somalia."

"Okay."

"Saleem, he and his men. They tortured me. Drugged me, raped me, hurt me. I wanted to die."

"But you didn't."

"No."

"And?"

"And now, I am having trouble adjusting. I have been trained to fake a psychological evaluation, but that does not mean I am fine."

"Yeah?"

"I have been… well, it's easier if I just show you." Ziva unzipped and lowered her cargo pants.

"Ziver, what the hell are you doing?"

"You will see." As she said this, she moved her thigh muscle so that it was illuminated by the light of the table lamp. Gibbs saw tiny scars, some pink, others almost white, hundreds of them, marring Ziva's olive skin.

"You've been cutting?"

Ziva nodded.

"Using it as a way to cope. Your body learned to associate pain with being alive. How long has this been going on?"

"Almost a year."

"And you only came to me now because?"

Ziva rolled up her sleeves and showed Gibbs two fresh cuts in the skin. "Because now it is visible depending on my shirt. Once visible it is a problem, Gibbs."

"What do you want me to do about it, Ziver?"

"I do not know. I was hoping… Save me?" Gibbs watched a tear trail down her cheek.

"Why do you think I can save you?"

"After Shannon and Kelly, well, I guess I just assumed that you would have preferred physical pain to mental anguish. Anything to distract your mind for a while or something physical to give you a reason to hurt."

Gibbs unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off.

"What are you doing, Gibbs?"

"You'll see." He stripped off his undershirt.

He had a six-pack, Ziva noticed, and his upper body was totally muscle. Then she saw the scars on his abdomen.

"Me too, Ziver, me too."

"How did you stop?"

"Remember the night you killed Ari to save me?"

"Yes," Ziva whispered.

"Well, I figured a girl who would kill her own brother to save a perfect stranger had to see something worth saving. That night, I stopped. That's also why I got DiNozzo permission to go to Somalia to save you, because first, you saved me."

Ziva was crying now, and Gibbs reached out to hold her as she cried.

"Ziver, I know I'm old and damaged goods but, I think I'm falling for you. I never thought I'd feel this way again. For me, I love you is the most overused phrase in the English language. I said it so often when I did not mean it. I mean it now. I love you, Ziva."

"Oh, Gibbs, I… I do not know what to say."

"It's DiNozzo, isn't it? You love him."

"Tony? I… I do not know. I do not think I can love anyone again. Besides, since Michael died, I have become religious. I highly doubt you want a Jewish girl."

"Shan converted."

"What? Why was that not listed in her file?"

"Her parents went against her wishes and gave her a Christian burial."

"Oh god, poor Shannon."

"Give me a chance, Ziver. Who knows? Maybe we can both save each other."

"All right. That sounds fair, Gibbs."

"Jethro, you should call me Jethro." Gibbs leaned down and kissed her forehead. "And you should get some sleep, Ziva. I can make up the couch for you."

"No Gib… Jethro. I… I have nightmares and I scream, loudly. Your father is upstairs. I will go home."

"Come back in the morning then, Ziva. Laila Tov."

"All right, good night, Jethro."

After Ziva left, Gibbs went up to bed and slipped into dream land.

_ "I think I'm going to be sick again," Shannon whispered. _

_ Joann reacted first, hugging Shannon. "It's all right, Shannon honey, we can get this taken care of." _

_ "Taken care of?" Shannon asked, "You don't want me to have this baby?" _

_ "A baby! Oh Shannie, can I hold it when it comes?" Asked Naomi, excitedly. "Sure, Naomi, if you want to." _

_ "Oh I do, I just wish Tom and Mary were still babies so I could hold them." _

_ Tom and Mary stopped playing long enough to glare at Naomi, who took no notice of them. _

_ "Not that we don't want you to have the baby, honey, but you are so young. And you can't possibly think Jethro can support you, do you? Unless, of course, he were to join your father's business." _

_ "Swell idea, Joann, What do you think, Leroy?" Frank asked._

_ "Hey, I only let my dad call me that." _

_ "Well, I'm your dad-in-law." _

_ "Not the same." Gibbs said._

_ "Mommy, daddy, please. Jethro and I will be fine. We are going to have this baby." _

_ "Look, now you made her cry, Joann. Come here, Shannon," Uncle Arnold said, as Shannon went to go sit with him. _

_ "It'll be fine, Joann, here, have a post-it. You can fold that into something," Phil said, passing a green post-it to Joann. _

_ "Well, I think it's great. Congratulations you two, " Marley said. _

_ "Pregnant, that's my girl," Aunt Delia slurred. _

_ Miss Brewster, the woman who lived in the Fielding's attic, came downstairs. Jethro and Shannon had long ago accepted her as part of the family. _

_ "What's going on? Surely we shouldn't be getting ready for church this early?" She asked. _

_ "No, Miss Brewster, Shannon's going to have a baby," Gibbs said. _

_ "A baby? Oh my. This is a blessing. I am so happy for you two," Miss Brewster said. _

_ "Mommy, look, I found a spider's nest," announced Tom to Delia. _

_ "Spiders? You should have your father take care of that. Arnold, get rid of those spiders before they bite someone," Delia commanded, as she got up and went towards the bathroom again. _

_ "Spiders are very nice to homeowners. They eat pesky insects like mosquitoes and flies," Miss Brewster told Tom. _

_ "I like to pull their legs off. Watch!" Tom said, picking up a spider and pulling off its legs. _

_ "Oh, Tom, no!" Mary wailed, "Cousin Jethro, he's hurting the spiders! Make him stop." _

_ Gibbs walked over to Tom and began to collect the spiders, Miss Brewster helping him and they put them outside. _

_ "They will die outside, Jethro," Miss Brewster said._

_ "Better than dying being tortured by Tom." _

_ "True enough." _

_ Gibbs walked over to Shannon and wrapped an arm around her. _


	7. Trust Me

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS

Warning: Contains images of cutting. Don't like? Don't read.

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. Gibbs' cell phone vibrated on the bedside table, waking him from his light slumber. He opened it and put it to his ear. "Yeah, Gibbs."

The sound of crying on the other end greeted Gibbs. He looked at the caller ID. Ziva.

"You okay, Ziva?"

"N… No."

"What is it?"

"I think I may need the ER, Gib… Jethro."

"What happened?"

"It just will not stop bleeding."

"Where Ziva?"

"My wrist."

Gibbs sighed, "Aw… Christ, Ziver. I'll be there in a bit."

"Mad?"

"No, just tired. I am not mad, I promise. I could never be mad at you for this. Although if I could resurrect Saleem just so I could kill him again, I probably would."

Gibbs shoved down the accelerator and drove through the empty streets to Ziva's apartment. Once there, he knocked loudly. Ziva answered the door, holding a washcloth to her upper left forearm.

"Thought you said your wrist was injured?"

"I did?" Ziva feigned confusion.  
>"You did not think I would come if it was not serious." Ziva nodded.<p>

"Ziver, when are you going to learn to trust?"

"When everyone I trust stops disappointing me."

"Yeah, but you lied, Ziva."

"Rule number seven?" Ziva asked hopefully.

"Nah, you are covered by rule number eighteen."

"Better to seek forgiveness than ask permission."

"Now, let's see your arm." Ziva took the washcloth away and Gibbs took her arm.

"Jesus, Ziver, how deep did you go?"

"Not deep enough to cause damage but now it will not stop bleeding."

Gibbs stared at the angry looking red gash that the blood was oozing out of. "You didn't use a straight-edge blade, did you?"

"No. All I had was a serrated blade."

"So what, now cutting isn't enough? You decided you had to be a masochistic skin-ripper, too?"

"I suppose so, yes."

"Hell, Ziva, you know the difference in cuts made with a straight-edge versus a serrated blade. I know you know the difference."

"Straight-edge cuts are not as deep, they heal faster, they do not bleed as much and they have less risk of becoming infected. Can I get a ride to the hospital now?"

"Sure, but you're gonna need a different ID. Otherwise Vance will pull your ass out of the field and you'll be stuck to desk duty and that's if you're lucky."

"Do not worry, Jethro. I kept an old Mossad ID. Can we go now?" Ziva asked, throwing Gibbs a wallet.

He flipped it open and read, "Talitha Daniella Haswari?"

"Michael had it created for me after Ari's death."

"Combining your sister and your brother in one identity. Nice work on Rivkin's part." Gibbs walked out of the apartment with Ziva following.

The ride to the local hospital was silent and soon Ziva was admitted to the ER.

"So why'd you do it, Ziver? I know you're not suicidal."

"I needed the distraction."

"Too many memories? I told you that you should have slept on my couch."

"Your couch is lumpy."

"Fine, you can have my bed. I'll sleep on the couch. But there is no way in hell I'm letting you stay alone. Got it?"

"But your knee will bother you if you sleep on the couch." Gibbs gave her the look that said clearly, argue with me and I will head-slap you into the next century.

"Talitha Haswari?" A brown-haired, handsome man called out.

"Yes, right here." Ziva stood and began walking and Gibbs followed her.

"Hi there, I'm Doctor Hart."

"Hello."

"Room 2, please. Ow, that cut looks nasty. What happened?"

"It was a cooking accident. The knife slipped."

"At three in the morning?"

"I am still operating on Israeli time. Plane-lag."

"Huh?" Doctor Hart looked confused.

"She means Jet-lag. I'm Jethro Gibbs, her boss."

"Okay… Talitha, we're going to disinfect that and stitch it up. Should be fine soon."

"Tali, not Talitha."

"Okay, Tali then." Doctor Hart talked to Ziva some more and bandaged her arm. "Change that dressing three times a day and then come back in a week to get those stitches out, okay?"

"Fine, thank you."

Gibbs drove home in silence and then walked Ziva upstairs to his bedroom. "Bathroom's through there. Holler if you need anything." Gibbs grabbed a pillow and an extra blanket and went to go make a bed on the couch.


	8. Nightmare

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS

Gibbs couldn't get comfortable. Ziva was right. His couch was wicked uncomfortable and lumpy. For the first time since Shannon died, Gibbs found himself wishing that he had not gotten rid of all the furniture that Shannon had picked out. She had good taste and their old futon was not lumpy at all. He sighed and gave up on sleep. Staring at the ceiling, he lost himself in his memory.

_ They were all going to the Christmas Eve service as per Shannon's family tradition. Mary had been casted as a tree in the Christmas play. She had one line, 'Joy to the world' and she had been practicing all afternoon. Gibbs had gone to the grocery store with Arnold, partly to get away from Shannon's family and partly because he liked Arnold. The man didn't press issues, didn't ask a million questions and actually liked Gibbs. So Gibbs figured the afternoon would be peaceful. He had forgotten about Arnold's annoying habit of opening groceries and eating from them as he shopped. Arnold was eating Cheese-its as he and Gibbs wandered through the grocery store. Finally they picked up the odds and ends Delia needed to make Christmas dinner and had gone home. Shannon had dressed up in a dark green velvet dress. Gibbs could see her silver star of David pendant due to the neckline of the dress and he wondered how she had kept it hidden the past few days. She never took it off, even in the shower, that much he knew. _

_ "Your religion is showing," Gibbs teased. _

_ "Do your mom and dad know?" _

_ "Of course not, Jethro." _

_ "When are you going to tell them you are Jewish now?" _

_ "How does never sound? They would disown me, Jethro. You know that. Anything outside of the normal Fielding behavior and it is not done and the guilty party gets shunned until they come to their senses." _

_ "Shan, I love you but your family drives me crazy." _

_ "Now you know why I was desperate to get out of Stillwater and away from them." _

_ "Desperate enough to marry someone?" Gibbs teased. _

_ Shannon laughed, "Oh Jethro, stop. You know I love you with all my heart." "I know." _

Gibbs was startled out of his dreams by a muffled scream and then soft whimpering. He headed upstairs.

"Ziva, hey," Gibbs touched her shoulder softly, rolling her over to face him.

"Oh Jethro," Ziva pulled Gibbs in for a hug.

This worried him more than the whimpers. Ziva rarely wanted others invading her personal space. Gibbs held her until her breathing calmed. "What's the matter?"

"Just more nightmares."

"Want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Okay, you're all right now, you know. The bastard can't hurt you anymore."

"I know. Toda."

"You're welcome. Try to go back to sleep. See you in the morning," Gibbs said as he got up and headed for the door.

"Jethro?"

"Yeah, Ziver?"

"Would you stay? Please?" Ziva's expression told him more than her words ever could. She was terrified even though it was only a nightmare.

"They're just dreams, Ziver. He's dead."

"I know. Forgive me, I should not have asked." Gibbs climbed into his bed and settled down next to Ziva.

"Sleep, Ziver. I'll be here, catching your nightmares and making sure you are safe." Gibbs kissed her temple and watched her fall asleep.

Soon his bedroom was echoing Ziva's loud snores. How could a woman that small make such a loud sound? Gibbs wondered about this before slipping back into his dreams.


	9. Oh Baby

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS

_ The Christmas play was a hit. Mary delivered her line of 'Joy to the world' and added 'Cousin Shannon's gonna have a baby'. The entire congregation covered their laughter with coughing fits and thus, a tiny girl playing a very lowly Christmas tree suddenly had the starring role as the citizens of Stillwater forgot about a birth that happened over two thousand years ago and instead focused on a birth that would be happening in the future. _

_ Once back home everyone opened their presents except they all saved one for in the morning and also saved their stockings, as was tradition with the Fieldings. Once Shannon and Gibbs were upstairs and Shannon had changed into her pajamas, which were Gibbs' old work out sweat suits from the corps, she sat down at her childhood desk and began to write thank you notes from Gibbs' and herself. _

_ "You never can sleep until you've done those, can you?" _

_ "You know I can't, Jethro. And besides, this way they can be put in the mailbox when you go on your morning run." _

_ "By the way, my dad says hello." _

_ "You saw Jackson? When?" _

_ "When someone needed a pregnancy test and forgot that Stillwater doesn't have a pharmacy." _

_ "Shit, Jethro, I'm sorry. I forgot. How is he?" _

_ "He's fine. Still stubborn as hell." _

_ "Like someone else I know." _

_ "Yeah?" _

_ "Yeah," Shannon licked the last envelope shut and then turned to Gibbs, kissing him. "But if you weren't a stubborn pain-in-the-ass, you wouldn't be my Leroy Jethro Gibbs." _

_ "I have a Christmas present for you. Hey, where's your star?" Gibbs had just now noticed that Shannon wasn't wearing her Star of David, which was highly unusual for her. _

_ "I took it off for church. I didn't want any questions." Shannon handed the pendant to Jethro, "Fasten it for me, please?" _

_ Gibbs fastened the clasp around his wife's neck and handed her a small box. _

_ "What is it, Jethro?" _

_ "Why don't you open it and find out?" _

_ Shannon opened the box and saw a beautiful Star of David pendant. "Jethro, it's beautiful," she whispered. _

_ "I don't want to replace yours but I thought you might like one for special occasions." _

_ "I love it, Jethro. Thank you." _

_ The pendant was made of silver with a pattern of alternating an emerald or a sapphire on each of the six points points and the chain was a simple link chain. _

_ "I had it custom made. I couldn't find one that seemed to fit you." _

_ "Oh, Jethro." Shannon carefully placed the necklace on the nightstand and kissed Gibbs heatedly and removed his shirt. _

_ "Thought you said I wasn't getting any," Gibbs smirked. _

_ "Shut up and kiss me, Jethro." Gibbs grinned and kissed Shannon deeply, feeling her body move and grind against his. He quickly undressed her and caressed her body, loving how she felt in his arms. Shannon bit his neck and sucked and licked at the skin there. _

_ "Baby, you're gonna give me a hickey and then your parents really will kill me." _

_ "I don't care, J. I want you. I need you." Shannon was gasping for air and her chest heaved against Gibbs', making him want her even more. _

_ "Shan, are you sure? I mean, you're usually a screamer." _

_ "Damn you Marines and your crazy amounts of self-control. J, I need you inside me. I want you so badly. Please, J."_

_ Gibbs couldn't say no. He could never say no to Shannon but especially not with her pleading with him that way. He rolled them over so he was on top of her and pulled off his pants revealing how hard he was. "Guess we don't have to worry about condoms anymore," Gibbs said._

_ Shannon pulled him close for a kiss. "Please, J," Shannon whimpered. _

_ "Shh, shh, shh, It's okay baby." Gibbs cradled Shannon's breasts and pushed his hardened length into her soft, warm, waiting body. He stayed still and let the feel of his wife's body overwhelm him. _

_ "Oh, J. This feels so good." _

_ Gibbs began to gently rock his hips back and forth, and as they found their rhythm Shannon bit a pillow to hide her increasingly louder noises. Gibbs bit Shannon's neck, knowing it was a huge turn on for her. The combination of their rhythm and the neck bites sent Shannon over the edge and she climaxed, holding onto Gibbs's shoulders and biting down hard on the pillow. Gibbs soon followed suit and they both lay back in the bed, panting and exhausted. _

_ "Thank you, Jethro." _

_ "It doesn't quite feel the same without your screaming," Gibbs said, cuddling Shannon close. _

_ That was the first time Shannon ever head-slapped him. _

Gibbs' alarm went off the next morning and he was surprised to find a woman in his bed. He did a quick assessment of his own body, no, he did not smell and his knee wasn't aching and his stomach wasn't churning like it always did after he made love to a woman since Shannon's death. And he was hard, and the morning after he knew he couldn't get it up anymore thanks to being old. So it was fairly safe to assume that whoever this woman was, they had not had sex. But he had been dreaming about sex with Shannon. He groaned slightly, not again. His brain must have thought he was a masochist. Then he looked over at his bed partner. Ziva? No, it couldn't be. But why would he be hallucinating? 

"Morning, Jethro. Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Ziver. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I do not know. You groaned."

"Nope, perfectly fine. Why are you in my bed?"

"Is this a serious question?"

He gave her the Gibbs stare.

"All right then. I am in your bed because you invited me here."

"I did?"

"You took me to the ER last night, or earlier this morning. Do you not remember?"

"Oh, yeah, and then you had a nightmare and asked me to stay."

"And I slept better with you here, so thank you."

"You snore like a drunken sailor."

"I know."

"You should really have that looked at."

"No, I do not like doctors."

A knock sounded on Gibbs' bedroom door.

"Yeah?"

"Morning Leroy, I made pancakes and eggs. Oh, morning Miss David."

"Good morning, Jackson."

"Please tell me there's coffee, dad." Gibbs sat up and rubbed at his eyes.

Ziva was already out of bed.

"Black and strong enough to keep you up for a week." Jackson replied.

"Good, okay, give Ziva and me a minute and we'll be down." Ziva was wearing Gibbs old NIS sweats he noticed. "How's your arm?"

"It itches like crazy."

"Other than that is it fine?"

"It is fine, Jethro."

Gibbs walked into the bathroom and threw on a pair of pants and a shirt. "You need the head for anything, Ziva?"

"I will use the head and be down soon, Jethro."

Gibbs walked downstairs.

"So Leroy, why didn't you tell me you and Ziva were dating? I like her."

"We aren't dating, dad."

"But she was just in your bed… Leroy Jethro Gibbs! You don't treat a lady that way!"

"Calm down, dad. Ziva had an accident last night and had to go to the hospital. She called me. I brought her here after and told her she could have my bed. She had a nightmare and asked me to stay when I went up to check on her. Nothing happened."

"She okay now?"

"Yeah, she's fine."

Ziva walked into the kitchen and fixed herself a plate. "Thank you for making breakfast, Jackson."

"Not a problem, Ziva."

Ziva took a bite of her eggs and no sooner had she swallowed and she was running off to the bathroom.

Gibbs heard her throwing up. "Ziver, are you okay?"

"I am fine, Jethro, just morning sickness."

"Morning sickness?"

"I am pregnant, Jethro. It is Tony's."

"DiNozzo? When?"

"Three months ago. I wanted comfort from the nightmares and Tony, well, he wanted something else."

"Does he know?"

"No."

"You're keeping it." It wasn't a question.

"Yes, I do not believe in abortions that do not have to do with work rules or the safety of the mother."

"Are you going to tell him it's his?"

"No."

"When were you gonna tell me?"

"When I started to show. I forgot that eggs made me vomit. They did with my mother too. I will just go. Thank you for taking care of me last night."

"Wait, Ziva. Ziva! Ziver, wait!" The front door banged shut. "Goddamn it!" Gibbs yelled and then sat down in a kitchen chair.

"What's the matter, Leroy?"

"She's pregnant, dad. It's DiNozzo's."


	10. Blizzard

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS

"DiNozzo? When?"

"Three months ago, dad. Three months ago that she did not come to me about her cutting herself after the hell she went through in Somalia. Three months ago that I should have seen the signs but didn't. Three months ago when she was having chronic insomnia and the doctor refused her Ambien so she would crash at her desk at work. Three months ago when I should have been there for her. Should have told her how I felt. Should have offered her a place to come and talk. I assumed she'd come find me if she was having a problem. And now she's pregnant, dad."

"Leroy, you love her, don't you?"

"Yeah dad, I do."

"Does she know?"

"I told her, but I don't think she believed me."

"I wonder why that is. You always had a problem telling people how you felt, Leroy."

"Yeah, I know, dad."

"So do something to show her that you love her, Leroy. You've always been better with actions than with words."

"What about you and me, dad? We were supposed to go ice-fishing today."

"Don't worry about me, Leroy. All I want is for you to be happy."

"So what am I supposed to do?"

"Can't tell you that. But you'll figure it out."

Later, Gibbs stood in his attic. After Shannon and Kelly died, he had gotten rid of all the clothes, books, toys and furniture. But he had kept Shannon's jewelry. He picked up the hand carved jewelry box he had made for Shannon and opened the door that contained Shannon's necklaces. He knew what would get Ziva's attention and make her believe him. Shannon had been buried with her simple silver star, according to Joann. Jethro only hoped it was true. But there was another Star of David that Gibbs knew Shannon had loved, the one from all those Christmases ago. He found it and placed it in a simple carved box. Ziva had lost her star in Somalia and Gibbs hoped this one would be an acceptable replacement.

He drove to Ziva's apartment and knocked on her door.

"Jethro?"

"Hey Ziver, can I come in for a few minutes?"

"Of course."

He looked around Ziva's militarily clean apartment. It was obvious she was trained to be neat and not take up too much space.

"Can I get you anything, Jethro?"

"No, I just came by to give you this." He held out the box.

"Jethro, it looks amazing. Did you make this?"

"Yeah, but that wasn't what I was planning on giving you, Ziver. Open it."

Ziva opened the box and gasped, "This is beautiful, Jethro. How did you know I wanted one? I was debating if I should just go buy one but now I do not have to. Where did you find this?"

"Oh, just in my attic."

"In your attic?" Ziva looked confused and then her eyes flashed understanding. "Oh Jethro, this was Shannon's was it not? I cannot take this from you."

"I don't think she'd mind. I think she'd want me to give something that was so important to her to the woman I love."

"You love me? Why?"

"I do. I love you because you are you. And because you understand me."

"Even though I am damaged goods?"

"Yes, and I am too."

"You are sure you want to give this necklace to me?"

"Yes, it should be worn by the woman I love."

"Fasten it for me, please, Jethro?" Gibbs fastened the pendant around her neck and then held her close. Outside, the snow came down like a white curtain. Ziva walked to the window.

"It looks like a blizzard, Jethro. You had better stay here. Call Jackson so he does not worry," Ziva said, tossing Gibbs her phone.

"Yeah, yeah it does, Ziver."

_ Snow fell down to such an extent that it broke Pennsylvania's record. Cars were buried and because of it, the entire extended family of the Fieldings was stuck at Frank and Joann's, including Gibbs and Shannon. There had been card games and fights and books that got re-read but by now everyone was sick of each other. _

_ "You said three days, Shan, it's been seven." _

_ "I can't control the weather, Jethro." _

_ "They're driving me nuts!" _

_ "Me too, but I can't do anything about that either." _

_ Uncle Phil was building a post-it house, like a card house, and was failing at it. Aunt Marley was reading parts of everyone's books aloud much to everyone's dismay. Cousin Naomi was trying to write out an advertisement for a date in the paper. Since Aunt Delia had spilled the news about Shannon being pregnant, Naomi had become increasingly desperate about making a family. Aunt Delia, drunk and smelling of cinnamon Altoids again was singing Christmas carols in a slurred and majorly off-key voice. Uncle Arnold was playing some board game with Tom and Mary. Miss Brewster was knitting a baby blanket for Shannon and Gibbs' arrival. Joann was cutting recipes out of magazines and Frank was hiding them in an attempt to stop his wife from cooking. Shannon was editing a few freelance articles she had written for magazines and Gibbs was staring blankly at a page in a book. He was not even sure which book he was reading. _

_ "I don't know how much more of this I can take," He signed to Shannon. _

_ They had both learned sign language when her parents first forbade her to speak to Jethro. She had said that signing did not use her voice so technically she was not breaking her parents rule. _

_ "I know. Me either. But I am trying to make the best of it." _

_ "That's what you said the last ten times." _

_ "So, quit complaining. I can't help it that we're stuck here and all your complaining won't change my answer." Shannon signed back and head-slapped him. _

_ "Hey!" He signed. _

_ "You deserved that." _

_ "For what?" _

_ "Irritating me." Shannon signed and smirked. _

_ The next morning, the bed next to him was empty. A quick look out the window revealed that Shannon was outside bundled up and shoveling out their truck while favoring her left ankle. Gibbs smirked slightly, she must have been desperate to get out of Stillwater. He quickly dressed and grabbed the extra shovel to go help his wife. They were leaving today and nothing would stop them. _


	11. Stuck

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS. I also messed with the timing of the Gulf War. Sorry to any veterans. But it was necessary for the story. And thank you to all military persons who support and defend this country.

"Hey Dad, it's becoming a blizzard outside so I am gonna stay with Ziva."

"Okay, did you tell her?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"And she believes me."

"And?"

"Haven't gotten that far, Dad."

"Okay well, you stay safe."

"Thanks Dad. See ya."

"Bye Leroy."

"He is okay?" Ziva asked.

"He's fine, Ziva."

"Jethro, I am scared to love you. I know now that you love mebut I have a hard time trusting people. I trust you to watch my six and I trust you to be a good leader but as far as a relationship, I do not know yet." Ziva sat down on the couch next to him and curled up into his side. He put an arm around her and she flinched. "You okay, Ziver?" He asked, pushing a curl back from her face.

"Yes, I just do not particularly like being touched anymore. But I know you will not hurt me."

"Ziver, if I could kill the bastard over again, I would."

"I know you would." Gibbs lightly caressed Ziva's cheek.

"Jethro, I…" Ziva turned her head and kissed Gibbs softly on the mouth. Gibbs held still, hardly daring to breathe and knowing he couldn't move for fear of startling Ziva or stirring up memories. "Your lips are soft," Ziva said.

"Chapstick, otherwise they split."

"Cherry, yes?"

"Yeah."

"Did you not want me to kiss you?"

Gibbs gave her the 'are you crazy' look.

"You did not kiss me back when I kissed you."

"I did not want to give you any bad flashbacks, Ziva."

Ziva stood, taking his hand. "I say we make some new memories." She pulled him into her bedroom and kicked the door shut.

"Whoa, Ziver, hey, um, what are you doing?"

"Making new memories."

"Hey," Gibbs put his hands on her shoulders, "We are not going to do this. Not right now."

"Why?"

"Because I'm an old-fashioned, chauvinistic bastard and I want to take things slow."

Ziva nodded, "Could we at least cuddle? I do not think I wish to be apart from you for very long."

Gibbs lay down on the bed and Ziva snuggled into his arms, her back against his chest, he stroked her hair. "Weather man says the snow is gonna be pretty bad. Pretty sure you're stuck with me now, Ziver.

"I do not mind. I think I like being stuck with my new boyfriend." Ziva kissed his cheek.

"Sounds like high school all over again. 'Boyfriend'." Gibbs shuddered playfully.

"Would you prefer gentleman caller?"

"Yeah, now I sound like a male hooker."

"Well then, what would you like to be?"

"Just Jethro."

Ziva smiled. "My Jethro."

"Yeah, your Jethro."

_ Shannon was six months along now and the throwing up had almost stopped. Her belly was slightly rounded and her back hurt constantly. Almost immediately after their return from Stillwater, Gibbs' unit had shipped out to the gulf. Shannon was dealing with the pregnancy on her own. Gibbs was being as supportive as possible while being on another continent, but Shannon still missed him terribly. _

_ 'Dear Shan, How's my favorite girl in the whole world? How's our baby doing? Got any more weird cravings? Wish I could be there to massage your back and your feet. Miss you. Can't say much about poking at Sadam. That's all classified. Thousands of kisses for you. Yours Always, J.' _

_ 'Dear Jethro, Your favorite girl is up all night again with the baby dancing a rhumba in my belly. Baby is fine. I found out today that we're having a girl. And I have a feeling she's gonna be a Daddy's girl. Your daughter has weird taste, I am craving dill pickles with cream cheese and beef. Poke Sadam in the eye so you can come back home. I miss you. Millions of kisses for my sexy Marine. Much love from your wife and baby girl. Love, Shannon. P.S. What do you think about the name Kelly Anne?' _

_ 'Dear Shan, Tell Miss Kelly Anne that her Daddy's gonna teach her to waltz when he gets home so her Mommy can get some much needed sleep. Maybe they should prescribe go pills to parents of newborns. Hey, any craving is better than the lousy excuse for cooking going on here. I would rather eat something Joann made. We poked Sadam in the eye last week. He didn't take it well and hit us on the head. We're still seeing stars. Saving your kisses so I can have one every hour. Hugs and kisses for you and Kelly. Yours Always, Jethro.' _

_ Gibbs was in combat when Shannon went into labor. When he got back to base camp and showered and headed to make his allotted weekly phone call, the guy manning the phones gave him a yellow post-it note. '17:30 – Shannon Elizabeth Gibbs calling for L. Jethro Gibbs. Went into labor. 21:30- Shannon Elizabeth Gibbs calling for L. Jethro Gibbs. Done labor. Wife and baby fine. 5 pounds 14 ounces. 21 inches long. Love you.' Gibbs had never loved post-it notes so much in his life. _


	12. Friends and Lovers

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS.

When Gibbs finally quit daydreaming he realized that Ziva had fallen asleep. Her snores and even breathing were peaceful. Even though her snores were very loud. Gibbs looked at her sleeping form. She was curled on her side, nestled into him and her black curls were half sprawled on the pillow and half smashed against his chest. His arm was around her and her arm was over his. He could see the bandage on her arm. Its whiteness was a stark contrast to her olive skin. He wondered slightly if he would dislike her extended family as much as he had Shannon's. He already hated her bastard of a father, Eli.

_ " 'Her father left her to die in a desert, Leon. You think she doesn't have some complicated feelings about seeing him again?'" _

He didn't know much about Ziva's family. She was a master at yes and no answers and at deflecting questions. She was better at it than he was, he realized. He didn't have a prayer of gaining any information on Ziva's family until she decided to tell him. If he pried, she would just become even more tight-lipped. No, he would have to earn her trust before she would ever share anything more than basic details.

"Mmm, Jethro, why are you watching me?"

"Huh?"

"You were staring, I can feel your eyes."

"Just admiring you. You fell asleep, ya know."

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize."

"Sign of weakness. I am hungry."

"Okay, what do you want to eat?"

"Tacos."

"I can make a Taco Bell run. Anything in particular?"

"No, just food."

"Okay."

Gibbs returned with the Taco Bell.

"I am not hungry anymore."

Gibbs just shook his head.

"I want to work out, " said Ziva.

"NCIS gym, then?"

"Yes, work out now, food later."

About an hour later, both were attired in NCIS sweats and were standing in the NCIS gym.

"I think we need music, Jethro." Ziva walked over to the sound system and popped in a Lady Gaga CD. "I hate her songs but the rhythm is good for Krav Maga. You know Krav Maga, yes?"

"Israeli-street style fighting, yes I know it. So you want to fight."

"Yes, fighting is how I work out, Jethro."

"No crying when I kick your ass."

"We will see about that, old man," Ziva taunted, pressing play.

"Old man? Oh, now I will kick your ass."

Ziva weaved and dodged Gibbs' punches. Gibbs got in a solid hit to her shoulder, Ziva retaliated by sending a good kick to Gibbs' abdomen. Gibbs' thought it was a good thing that Ziva was barefoot. Both of them were skilled in sparring and both made good opponents. Neither of them noticed Hollis Mann standing in the doorway as they continued to play fight. Both knew they weren't really fighting because had it been a real fight all it would take would be one punch to get their opponent down. Ziva backed up, launched herself at Gibbs and tackled him. He realized as he went down that she had put her hand underneath his head to protect it from the floor. Gibbs stared up at Ziva, she smirked down at him and tightened her legs around his waist. She leaned forward and he could feel her muscled thighs rippling as she lowered her body over his to pin his hands above his head, she grinned a triumphant smile and declared, "I win," before leaning in and kissing him. Gibbs groaned and returned her kiss.

"Hey! Where do you get off kissing my boyfriend? Why don't you go kiss agent DiNozzo?"

Ziva and Gibbs looked up.

"Hollis, I thought you were in Hawaii." Gibbs' said.

"So that's an excuse to cheat? Yeah, that's a great reason to cheat, Gibbs. I was in Hawaii. I came back because I missed you."

"We broke up when you left, Hollis."

"No, we didn't. You just stopped talking to me."

"It worked with my ex-wives."

"As far as my kissing agent DiNozzo, we were never dating," Ziva said.

"But I saw how he looked at you." Hollis objected.

Ziva shrugged, turning to Gibbs. "I can leave if you like, Jethro."

"No, stay, Ziver."

"Ziver? Oh now she has a nickname?"

"Would you prefer if I called her sweet cheeks, Hollis? We broke up. I didn't cheat. It's over. I love Ziva."

Hollis' face was bright red. "What do I have to do to get you back, Gibbs?"

"You can't. I am with Ziva now and I love her."

"But she's not a redhead."

"Nope. I'm done trying to find imitations of my first wife. It didn't work anyway."

"Go to hell, Gibbs."

"Been living there for 25 years, Hollis. What else ya got?"

"You're a real bastard, you know that?"

"So they tell me."

Hollis stalked off.

"My god, Jethro, I'm so sorry."

"Not your fault. Ziver."

"You dated her?"

"Hey, I didn't know she was that bad until I took her out on a date."

Ziva smiled.

"So, I believe you were on top of me, Ziver?" Gibbs asked, pulling Ziva down to the mats with him. He rolled them over, pinned her down as she struggled half-heartedly. Gibbs knew she was only struggling because she hated to lose a fight or lose control and that it had nothing to do with her capture in Somalia or how she felt about him and then he ravished her mouth with his own, loving how her moans of pleasure were the only sound that registered in his mind as the CD played on.

_Bobby was trying to kiss Shannon and she kept trying to dodge him. "Why can't I kiss you, Shannon? You know we're going to get married." _

_ "Like hell we are." _

_ "Our parents have known for years." _

_ "I'd rather die." Shannon sat on the train station bench, turning her face away from Bobby. She was going off to visit her grandmother for the summer. Bobby suddenly grabbed her cheeks, turned her head and crashed his lips on hers as Shannon struggled to get out of his grip. _

_ "Hey! Leave her alone!" Gibbs tackled Bobby and began to beat him up. Bobby only got in one punch, to Gibbs' eye. He would be sporting a black eye for boot camp but that black eye was the only medal he'd ever gotten that he actually cared about._

_ Bobby got up. "I should be allowed to kiss my stupid girlfriend." _

_ "She's not stupid. And you should never treat a lady like that." _

_ "Whatever, women have their place and once we get married, I'll make sure she stays in hers." Bobby stalked off and Gibbs turned to the beautiful redhead on the bench. _

_ "Are you okay?" He asked. _

_ "I'm fine now that he's gone." She smiled slightly and took out a book. _

_ "I'm Leroy. Leroy Jethro Gibbs." _

_ "Shannon Fielding. I think I'll just call you Gibbs." _

_ "Are you really marrying that bastard?" _

_ "Not if I can help it. Where are you off to?" _

_ "Marine Corps boot camp. Where are you going and what are you reading?" _

_ "Going to North Carolina to visit my grandmother for the summer. I think it's neat that you're going to be a Marine. I'm reading about Judaism. Once I get out of Stillwater, I'm going to convert." _

_ "Really, why?" _

_ "It matches with my own personal set of beliefs better than Christianity." _

_ "Oh, okay. Sorry I asked. I didn't mean to pry." _

_ "No really, it's fine. And you should never apologize. It's a sign of weakness." _

_ "It is?" _

_ "Yeah. That's one of my rules. Everyone should have their own code of rules to keep them in line." _

_ "Kind of like the Corps." _

_ "Kind of, I guess, yeah." _

_ "So why no apologies?" _

_ "Because you should live your life so you never have to apologize to anyone. Unless you hurt them; then it's not a sign of weakness but something you'd better do to avoid getting your butt kicked. Here, write down your address. We can write letters." _

_ "Uh, okay." _

_ And just as the train stopped in North Carolina, Gibbs turned and kissed Shannon. It was a soft kiss, gentle, just the barest brush of lips. And that's when Shannon knew that she was going to marry Leroy Jethro Gibbs. That and the fact that he had beaten Bobby up in defense of her honor. _


	13. Family Time

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS

Warning: Discusses abortion. Don't like, Don't read.

Back in his home, with Ziva in the kitchen shooing him out every time he tried to come in, Gibbs smiled. Ziva had insisted on making dinner for Gibbs and Jackson and refused all forms of help. Gibbs snuck in the kitchen and a knife hit the doorjamb and stuck.

"Jethro, go away! How is it supposed to be a surprise if you will not stay out of the kitchen?"

"Do I smell your famous triple chocolate espresso brownies?"

"That depends. Are you going to leave the kitchen?"

"Yes."

"Then yes. Now get out."

"My house, Ziver."

"Please, Jethro, I want to make this special for you and your father."

Gibbs grinned and headed back to the living room.

"Sounds like you just got your tail feathers whipped, son."

"She's a feisty one, dad. And she's hormonal."

"And you're okay with the fact that the kid's DiNozzo's?"

"It'll be DiNozzo's biologically but, if Ziva chooses to stay with me, then it'll be mine and Ziva's responsibility."

"She gonna tell him?"

"I don't know, dad. We haven't really talked about it."

"She should tell him."

"And you should keep your nose out of things that aren't your business. I trust Ziva to handle it. And you should too."

"I'm only trying to tell you that DiNozzo has a responsibility."

"What's your point? That I should dump Ziva just because she and DiNozzo had a one-night stand three months before we got together? That I should throw a hissy fit because Ziva wants to keep the baby? That I should stay single the rest of my life because some Mexican Renosa Drug Cartel idiots decided that it was okay to kill my wife and daughter just because some stupid Marines were dealing drugs to up their pay scale, got caught and murdered and Shannon saw the whole thing happen? What do you want me to do, dad?" Gibbs was yelling now and had tears in his eyes.

"Jethro, Jethro, shh. Shh, It is okay, Jethro," Ziva walked over to him, murmuring comfortingly.

When she reached him she held him in her arms, making him sit on the couch, murmuring comfortingly, rubbing his back and generally calming him down. Jackson realized that Ziva had ceased speaking English and the melodic flow of the Hebrew words made something inside Jackson sad. He wasn't sure why. Whatever Ziva was saying was said softly, tenderly, lovingly and the words seemed to flow up from her soul to her mouth like a well. Whatever it was, it was working as he could see all the rage leaving Leroy but in its place was such an overwhelming sense of pain and loss, Jackson almost preferred being screamed at. He watched as Leroy broke down on Ziva's shoulder. Ziva held, and rocked, and soothed until Leroy wiped his eyes and sat up.

"Okay now, son?"

"Yeah, I'm fine now, dad."

"Dinner is ready whenever you two are," Ziva said.

"Think I'll hit the head first, Ziver. Be there in a minute."

Ziva stood in the living room with Jackson. "I should get an abortion, yes? Then Jethro will not have to deal with my mistakes."

"Much as I'm against abortion, yeah, I think you should. Leroy would raise DiNozzo's kid but it would never feel right for all four of you. Especially since in order for Leroy to be comfortable, you'd have to tell DiNozzo. Which I figure is not something you want to do."

Ziva nodded, "I will take care of it."

Gibbs came out of the bathroom and hugged Ziva. "Smells great, Ziver. Let's go eat."

_ He had been home for four years now. And as much as he adored Shannon, he knew that he adored Kelly even more. Shannon had been right, she was a daddy's girl. He had taught her to swim since Shannon was terrified of water and taught her how to play soccer. She and her best friend Maddie were pretty much always together. When he got the call to pack because his old unit was shipping out to go poke at Sadam again and try to make the Middle East safer Gibbs wanted to scream in frustration. He did not care about the Middle East, all he cared about was Shannon and Kelly. But, being a good Marine, he packed up and got ready to deploy. Kelly clung to him as Shannon drove them to the airstrip Gibbs' plane was taking off from. _

_ "Don't go, daddy. Please don't go."_

_ Gibbs' heart broke as his daughter pled with him to stay home. "I have to go, Kelly, baby. But I'll be back soon." _

_ "This is cause I ate the cookie that Mommy said I wasn't supposed to have, right? I promise I'll be good. I'll never eat cookies again if you stay." _

_ "Kelly, this has nothing to do with the cookies, princess. Now, you're making daddy very sad by thinking that this has to do with you. I don't want to leave you or your mommy. And I promise I'll come back soon." _

_ "Tomorrow?" _

_ "Not quite that soon, princess." _

_ "Thursday? Cause that's, like, forever away." _

_ "No, not Thursday either, Kelly. But I'll be back as soon as I can, okay? And now, I want you to be a good soldier and be brave and put on a smile for me, okay? Can you do that for daddy?" Kelly smiled and saluted. _

_ "That's my girl." _

_ Gibbs got out of the truck and went to grab his duffle bag, go bag, and sniper rifle. He found Shannon sitting in the bed of the truck, cradling the Bravo 51 rifle and talking to it. "Okay so look, I know Marines are supposed to love their sniper rifles and they name you and all that jazz. I don't care about any of that, Kate. I just want you to protect him, shoot whomever you're supposed to shoot and bring him home in one piece. Because I don't think I can live without him." _

_ "Talking to my gun now, Shan? You know, they say the first sign of crazy is talking to objects that can't hear you." _

_ "Kate and I were just having a chat about how she has to have your six. You know as much as I love you, if I thought it would get you out of active duty, I'd shoot you." _

_ "If I thought it would get me medically discharged I'd shoot myself." _

_ Shannon hugged Gibbs tightly. "Oh Jethro." _

_ "We've said it all before." _

_ Shannon smiled. Her Marine was being tough. If she didn't know he had a sensitive side or that he'd talked to Kelly earlier, she would have thought that he didn't care about being deployed. "I want to hear it again." _

_ "I will take care. I will come back safe."_

_ Shannon laughed softly, the gruffer Jethro got, the more she could be sure he was hiding his feelings, "Not that." _

_ "I love you." _

_ "I love you, too, Jethro. Forever and always." _

_ He kissed Kelly one last time and held her tight. He kissed Shannon like crazy, ignoring the hoots from the other guys in his unit. He handed Kelly to Shannon, stood at attention and saluted. "Semper Fi." _

_ "Oorah," both Shannon and Kelly said. _

_ He walked towards the plane. _

_ "Wait, J!" _

_ "Daddy!" _

_ He had to pretend he hadn't heard. It was the only way he could make himself get on that plane. _

Gibbs awoke in a cold sweat, with shallow breathing.

"Jethro? Are you all right?" Ziva asked.

"Yeah, fine." Well, Shannon had gotten one thing right, she never had to live without him. What she hadn't figured on was how hard it was for him to live without her.

In the early morning light before Gibbs awoke again, Ziva made a call and scheduled herself for an abortion.


	14. Only Yours

Disclamer: I do not own NCIS.

Just a few days before Ziva's appointment, she awoke in Gibbs' bed. They had been together for a month now, and still Ziva loved waking up beside him. Knowing he was there to watch her six was amazing, and she found herself sleeping better. She pushed the side button on her watch that allowed her to view the time, 02:30. And something was wet beneath her. Had she had an accident? Oh please god no. How embarrassing would that be? She had been dreaming of Somalia again but it had been a long time since she had lost control of her bladder due to the nightmares. Careful not to wake Gibbs, she flipped on the flashlight that he kept next to the bed. A pool of red lay beneath her. Oh no, she had gotten her period. No, she could not have, she was pregnant. So what was the matter with her? Not wanting to deal with this on her own, she reluctantly turned off the flashlight and poked Gibbs' shoulder.

"Jethro?"

"Mmmm… I'm sleeping…"

"Jethro, this is important. Wake up."

"Ziver." Gibbs groaned, rolled over, and checked the clock. "It's 02:45 in the morning. I thought the nightmares were gone."

"No, just the screaming."

"Well, what is it, Ziver?"

"I do not know. There is a lot of blood and I should not be having my cycle, and pregnant women should not bleed this much."

"Oh, god, Ziver, are you okay?"

"I have no idea. I need the hospital, Jethro." Gibbs picked her up, carried her to the car and drove to the hospital breaking all the speed limits.

Once Ziva had been admitted to the ER, Dr. Hart came out. Ziva groaned, "Oh no."

"What's wrong? Do you want a female doctor?"

"No, it is just he thinks I am Tali Haswari."

"And you're checked in as Ziva David."

"Yes."

Gibbs head-slapped himself.

"Ziva David?" Dr. Hart called.

Ziva stood and walked towards him.

"Hey Tali, I called for a Ziva David. Although it is nice to see you again."

"I am Ziva David. Special Agent Ziva David of NCIS. Now please, do your job, Dr. Hart."

"Oh. Uh, okay then. So what seems to be the problem?"

"I am bleeding heavily and I am pregnant and it is not natural so I wanted to get checked."

"Sounds reasonable. So just lie back and… Oh my… We'll need an ultrasound to confirm but, Ziva, you just had a miscarriage. I am so sorry for your loss."

Gibbs pulled Ziva into his chest. "It'll be okay, Ziver. We'll make it through."

"So the baby is gone?"

"Yes, I am so sorry, Ziva."

Dr. Hart left to find the ultrasound machine.

"I am relieved, Jethro."

"Why is that, Ziver?"

"I never wanted to raise Tony's child. I had scheduled an abortion. Which I now do not need."

"Do you not want children, Ziva?"

"I do, just with the right man."

"And when you find the right man?"

"Then whatever happens will happen."

"And who is your right man?"

"I love you too, Jethro."

The former gunnery sergeant pulled the former assassin close for a kiss.

_ He was dirty. He hadn't showered in days. But he didn't care, he had to get to Stillwater before Shannon's parents married her off to Bobby. He pressed hard on the accelerator. "C'mon baby, you can do it," he muttered to the truck. He finally made it to Stillwater and he threw pebbles at Shannon's bedroom window until she appeared in front of it. "Hi, can you come out?" He signed. _

_ "Be down in seconds. Just let me lie to my parents." She signed back. Soon she was out the door and in his arms. _

_ "Hi," he said again as he kissed her. _

_ "Hi yourself."_

_ They kissed and kissed and kissed when they finally broke apart, Gibbs blurted out, "Marry me?" _

_ "What?" _

_ "Never mind." _

_ "No, Jethro, did you just ask me to marry you?" _

_ "Yes." _

_ "Did you mean it?" _

_ "Yes." _

_ "Then a thousand times yes." _

_ "I don't have a ring," He looked down at the ground, ashamed. Here was this beautiful woman who wanted to marry him and he couldn't even have the decency to get her a ring? _

_ Shannon pulled his face up to look her in the eye. "I don't need a ring, Jethro. You give me you and that's all I need." _

_ "But are you sure I'm your right man?" Shannon smiled and leaned in and kissed him softly. _

_ She whispered, "I love you too, Jethro." _

"Marry me, Ziver."

"What? Jethro, I do not intend to be your fourth ex-wife."

"Never mind then."

"No, wait, you are serious, yes?"

"Yeah, Diane, Stephanie, Carol, they didn't mean anything to me. I never loved any of them. Not like I did with…" Gibbs' trailed off.

What the hell was he doing, proposing to Ziva and bringing up Shannon? Ah, hell, he didn't even have a ring. With Diane, he had borrowed a friends boat and proposed at sunset with a fat diamond. With Stephanie it was at a nice restaurant and another fat diamond. With Carol, he had asked at a park and gave away yet another fat diamond. And yet, with the two women he loved most, he didn't have engagement rings. All he had was a wide open heart and a prayer that she might love him too.

"Not like you did with Shannon."

"No, not like I loved Shannon."

"But you love me."

"More than my own life. I don't have a ring to give you, I'm sorry."

"Do not apologize, it is a sign of weakness. And I do not need a ring; you gave me you. That is all I need, Jethro."

"Will you be my Ziva David?"

"Yours and only yours, Leroy Jethro Gibbs." Ziva kissed him deeply and smiled, "You realize you just proposed in a hospital, yes?"

"Aw, fuck," Gibbs groaned. She was never gonna let him forget this.


	15. Missed

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS. Just playing with the characters for fun.

A few weeks after her miscarriage, Gibbs took Ziva to the firing range to let off some steam after a tough case. He noticed that her hands were shaking and she was much more clumsy than usual. He watched her shoot and watched, horrified, as her shots did not land in the center of the target where she was trying to aim. Something was wrong with the former assassin. Ziva began to swear in Hebrew and began to shake harder.

Gibbs waited until she put the gun down to approach her. "Ziver, are you okay?"

"No, Jethro, I am not. If this is what I think it is well… Just call Abby and Ducky and have them meet us at NCIS."

Ziva watched as he pulled out his cell and hit the five button. "Hey Abs, listen, Ziva isn't feeling well and… No, I dunno Abs. Look, just meet us at NCIS, okay? Because she asked me to ask you. Now will you or not? See ya."

"Jethro, there is no point in getting angry with Abby."

Gibbs ignored her and pushed eight. "Hey Duck, Yeah. Listen, Ziva isn't feeling well and she asked me to ask you if… No, Duck, she hasn't eaten shellfish, peanut butter or strawberries in the past forty-eight hours. Duck! Just meet us at NCIS, okay? See ya."

"They will meet us?"

"They'll be there, Ziver."

Ziva nodded and walked to the car. Gibbs watched her body tremble. "Ziver, talk to me. What do you think this is?"

"I will wait until I know for sure, Jethro."

"Ziva, please."

"Sheket B'vakasha," she said, angrily.

"You're seriously telling me to shut up?"

"Ken," she answered.

"Oh yeah, that's real nice, Ziva, talk to me in a language I do not speak."

"Comprende?"

"And now you've switched languages. And yes, I understand both a little Hebrew and Spanish."

"Tov."

"And now we're back to Hebrew. So, it's good that I can understand you, but that I can't speak back in the same language?"

"Ken."

"Would you stop already with the Hebrew? You're driving me nuts!"

"Lo."

"Well that's just fucking great, Ziver. Fine, talk all you want in Hebrew."

She shrugged.

"What, now no Hebrew either? What the hell is going on?"

"Nada."

"It isn't nothing!" Ziva shrugged again and Gibbs felt like breaking the steering wheel.

Once at NCIS, Ziva hopped out of the car, flashed her ID card at the door and sprinted down the stairs to autopsy.

"Hello, Ziva. May I ask why you wanted Abigail and myself to meet you and Jethro here?"

"Shalom, Ducky. And just me, not Gibbs."

"I thought you two were engaged."

"Well, now maybe we are not. I need to you draw a blood sample from me that I can give to Abby to have a genetic test done."

Ducky got out the necessary supplies to draw a vial of blood. "So why wouldn't you and Jethro be engaged now?"

"I do not wish to talk about it. At least, not until I know what is the matter. Can you not work faster, Ducky?"

"Why are you so anxious to be out of here?"

"I want to get to Abby's lab before Gibbs shows up."

"You are back to calling Jethro Gibbs?"

"We are in a fight."

"Since when?"

"Fifteen minutes ago, I would say."

"Why?"

"He wants to talk. I do not."

"Oh Ziva. Jethro only cares about you."

"I know. And sometimes I think it would be easier if he did not."

"Okay, all done. Go see Abby."

"Toda, Ducky."

"You are welcome."

Ziva ran to get to Abby's lab.

"Oh no, you don't, Ziver. What the hell is going on?"

"Go see Ducky. He has some answers for you," Ziva lied, hoping he would believe her. He did, and she sprinted the rest of the way to the lab.

"Ziva! Gibbs said you were sick. What can I do? 'Cause I know these awesome aroma-therapies and they have been proven to work. I know Tony says they're stupid but…"

"Abby!" Ziva cut off the bubbly Goth.

"Yes?"

"Lock the door."

"Gibbs isn't here yet."

"Abby, lock the door, now."

"Oh my god, you don't want him here, do you?"

"No."

"Ziva, he's your fiancée."

"Yes, well, maybe not for much longer."

"What?"

"Abby…"

"Lock the door, got it," Abby said, looking as though she might cry and pushing the button to lock the doors to the lab. "So why is Gibbs' maybe not going to be your fiancée for much longer?"

"I do not know. I was hoping you could tell me." Ziva held out the vial of blood and continued, "Here, test this for Huntington's Korea."

"Do you have…?"

"I am not sure."

"But it's genetic. Did your mom have it?"

"My mother was killed when Hamas blew up the marketplace where she was shopping. My Aunt Sarah, my mother's sister, had Huntington's."

"Had?"

"She died six years ago."

"Oh my god, Ziva, I'm so sorry."

"Just run the test, will you please?"

"Yeah." Abby set up the test and then embraced her friend, letting Ziva cling to her and cry on her shoulder.

Meanwhile, Gibbs had been to autopsy. "Hey, Duck. Ziva said you had some answers for me?"

"I'm afraid I don't, Jethro."

"Then why the hell would she tell me that… She went up to Abby's, didn't she?"

"Yes. She said something about needing a genetic test but nothing more. She refused to talk about it."

"In the car on the ride over here she kept switching from Hebrew to Spanish to silence and back."

"She's evading, Jethro. Also, I'm afraid she might run. She said something about you two not being engaged for much longer. She wouldn't say so but I could see it in her eyes, Jethro, whatever this is has her scared. And when our young Ziva gets scared, she pushes everyone close to her away and runs."

Gibbs sat down on an empty table and put his head in his hands. "What the hell am I gonna do now, Duck? She's everything to me."

"Then I suggest you go up to Abigail's lab and tell Ziva that."

"Thanks, Duck."

"Oh, and Jethro?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell her you love her."

"On it, Duck."

Gibbs tried the door to the lab. Locked. He could see Abby inside, doing something with one of her machines. He could also see Ziva who was looking so on edge, Gibbs thought she might start running around and throwing things. He knocked on the door and both girls jumped. Ziva looked completely terrified and Abby wouldn't look at him.

"Open up, Abs," he called.

She looked up and called back 'nope' while shaking her head.

"Open the door now," he signed, purposely signing in an over-exaggerated fashion.

"What does he want?" Ziva asked.

"In."

"No."

"That's what I'm telling him. No, go away, Gibbs," Abby signed back just as exaggeratedly.

"Abby, I want to talk to Ziva," he signed.

"Sorry, she doesn't want to talk to you at the moment," Abby signed.

"Fine, just tell her I love her, would you?" He signed.

"What does he want now?"

"Says he loves you."

Tears rolled down Ziva's cheeks. Gibbs banged on the door. Abby ignored him and hugged her friend. "Tell him I'm sorry."

"Oh! Ziva! No, I won't let you two break up!"

"Fine, tell him I love him and that I'm sorry." Abby signed Ziva's message to Gibbs.

"He wants to know if he's allowed in now?"

Ziva shook her head.

"Nope. Sorry, Gibbs."

Gibbs looked miserable, Abby noted. "I think you hurt his feelings, Ziva."

"He will get over it."

Abby's machine beeped. Ziva wiped her eyes and her head shot up from her hands. "What does it say?"

Abby nodded sadly and Ziva collapsed onto the floor, sobbing her heart out. Gibbs banged on the door repeatedly.

"Can I let the boss-man in now?" Abby asked.

Ziva nodded and Abby pressed the button on the remote to unlock and then to open the doors to the lab.

Gibbs rushed to Ziva's side, pulling her to his chest, holding her close and letting her sob into his shoulder. "What is it? What's the matter?"

Seeing that Ziva couldn't answer, Abby spoke up, "She has Huntington's, Gibbs. She's dying. And it's advancing quickly according to the tests I did."

"Can you do 'em again?"

"The answer isn't gonna change, Gibbs. I'm sorry." Abby crept out of the room, leaving Gibbs and Ziva alone.

For lack of anything better to do, Abby went to Autopsy. "Oh hello, Abigail."

"Oh, Ducky." And suddenly Abby was crying on Ducky's shoulder.

"My dear girl. Whatever is the matter?"

"It's Ziva, Ducky. She has Huntington's."

"Oh my!" Ducky's normally happy face fell and he looked so sad. He embraced Abby and sighed heavily. Poor Ziva. And poor Jethro, Ducky didn't think his friend could stand to lose someone so precious to him again.

Back in the lab, Ziva's sobs quieted and she began to talk to Gibbs. "Jethro, I have to quit NCIS. I'm a liability now not an asset."

"It's okay. Everyone will understand."

"They will?"

"Anyone that matters will."

"I also understand if you would rather not continue our relationship."

"Ziva, why would I want that?"

"Because I am dying. I am giving you an out so you do not have to watch me suffer, suffer with me and then suffer with all the memories of us after I am gone."

"I love you, Ziva. And that's what for better or for worse means. Do you know how long you have?"

"Huntington's usually kills around thirty-five to thirty-eight."

"That's seven to ten years."

"Yes."

"I'm going to make sure these next years are the best years of your life, starting from now until whenever your last second of life is."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"When are the best years of your life?"

"Every year that I spend with you."

"I love you, Jethro."

"I can't believe you doubted me."

"I thought if you were mad enough you might leave me and that would spare you from all this."

"I love you, Ziva David. And I promise that every second I have with you will be one filled with joy and love."

Ziva smiled and kissed Gibbs softly on the lips. "Take me home, please, Jethro."

Gibbs picked Ziva up and carried her out to the car.


	16. Time to Tell

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS

A week later, Ziva and Gibbs sat in Director Vance's office.

"Agents Gibbs and David, you wanted to see me?"

Ziva took a deep breath and Gibbs took her hand and traced patterns on it with his thumb. Ziva let her breath out in a sigh. "Yes, I have… Huntington's." Ziva pushed hard against the words, afraid she might cry.

"Sorry to hear that, Agent David." Vance said

"So, because I can no longer shoot straight or write legibly, I have to quit."

"I see. I assume you are going to tell Agents DiNozzo and McGee?"

"Yes."

"You know the drill, David."

"Yes, hand over my gun and badge."

"The gun now, the badge you can turn in after you talk to DiNozzo and McGee."

Ziva handed over her gun. So did Gibbs.

"Special Agent Gibbs?"

"I'm retiring, Leon."

"For real this time?" Vance smirked. "

Yeah, for real this time."

"Yeah, we'll see how long that lasts, Agent Gibbs. You do know that if you retire, I'm not going to let you come back."

"Yeah, Leon, I figured."

"Going back to Mexico with Franks?'

"Nope, staying here in D.C. with Ziva."

Vance looked from Gibbs to Ziva, shocked.

"Jethro, I thought we said that you would stay."

"Can't, Ziver. I can't stay and work and worry about you. Something's gotta give. That thing is work. Besides, I'm old enough to retire, right Leon?"

"Yes, with full benefits for you and your… wife? Congratulations are in order I take it. When did you two get married?"

"Three days ago, Leon, which you should know. I filled out the necessary papers."

"Well, congratulations to you both."

After saying thank you both Gibbs and Ziva left Vance's office.

"I'm gonna go get coffee, Ziver. That way you have time to tell McGee and DiNozzo."

Ziva kissed Gibbs, something they had never done in the office. "Enjoy your coffee." Ziva slipped her wedding ring on her finger and walked into the bullpen. McGee had just gotten there. Ziva's hands and arms were trembling and she willed them to be still.

She walked to McGee's desk and sat down on it, next to his computer, with her legs hanging over the drawers.

"Um… Good morning, Ziva?" Tim looked nervous having her so close.

She scooted away slightly before replying, "Good morning, Tim."

"Uh, your desk is over there you know."

"I know, I have something to tell you. Something important."

"And you have to do it sitting on my desk?"

"Yes." Ziva lowered her voice to a whisper. "I am sick, Tim. I am dying. I have Huntington's."

"You're what?"

"Dying. I have Huntington's."

"Is that spelled like it sounds?"

"Yes."

She watched as he typed into Google and brought up the Mayo Clinic webpage. He read for a while and then looked up at Ziva. "I'm sorry, Ziva. If you ever need anything at all, call me, okay? Day or night, I don't care about the time."

"I will remember that. Thank you, Tim."

"What's with the ring?"

"Jethro and I got married a few days ago."

"It's beautiful, Ziva. Black diamond, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, congratulations to you and the boss. Where is he anyway?"

"Getting coffee. He wanted me to have time to tell you and Tony. You realize with my diagnosis, I have to quit NCIS, yes?"

"Oh, Ziva, we'll miss you."

"I will miss you too, Tim. And Jethro is retiring."

"Wow, down you and the boss? Work is gonna be strange."

"Ya think?" Ziva asked in her best Gibbs impression.

"I know." McGee got up and hugged Ziva slightly. There was a time when that would have been awkward, Tim thought. Tim felt the tremors running through Ziva's hands and arms. Ziva pulled away, but Tim knew she knew he had felt them.

"Since when does Ziva give out hugs, Probie? Unless you're torturing him, which if you are, carry on." Tony said as he walked into the bullpen.

"No, I am not torturing him, Tony. Can I not hug my coworkers? Abby does all the time."

"Yeah, but you're not Abby."

"I know." Ziva sighed. This was harder than she thought. She knew Abby had told Ducky, and that Gibbs, Vance and McGee knew. But telling Tony, she was scared. She walked over to his desk, turned her arms so she could rest the heels of her hands on Tony's desk and spoke softly, "I have something to tell you, Tony."

Tony grinned, "So you're finally going to admit you have the hots for me, Zee-vah?" Ziva shook her head, and got ready to tell Tony about her Huntington's. The words didn't come. Instead, her arms gave out, sending her upper body crashing down on top of Tony's computer screen. "What the hell, Ziva?" Tony asked, loudly.


	17. The Mess I Made

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS

_ "I have something to tell you, Tony." _

_ Tony grinned, "So you're finally going to admit you have the hots for me, Zee-vah?"_

_ Ziva shook her head, and got ready to tell Tony about her Huntington's. The words didn't come. Instead, her arms gave out, sending her upper body crashing down on top of Tony's computer screen. _

_ "What the hell, Ziva?" Tony asked, loudly. _

McGee helped Ziva up, got her her desk chair and made her sit down in it. "Are you okay, Ziva?" McGee asked.

"I am fine, Tim." Her voice was harsh and Tim knew it was because she was embarrassed.

"Hey, McNerd, come look at this, I think part of my screen has had it's ass kicked by Ziva."

Ziva groaned. "I am sorry, Tony, I will buy you a new computer screen."

"Tony, I think there are worse things than the upper corner of your computer screen being damaged."

"Yeah, but you're McTechno-Geek, So come fix it."

"Not fixable, Tony."

"So Zee-vah, what was so important that you broke my computer screen? You just couldn't control yourself around the DiNozzo charm? Well, that's okay. I'll forgive you. If I can kiss you."

"No, Tony, I…"

"No? So you want to be punished then, huh?" Tony grinned, hey if Ziva wanted it rough, he wasn't going to complain.

McGee looked at Ziva's fingers, hoping Tony would see her wedding ring and back off. He realized then that the ring was gone. He groaned inwardly. "Tony, I don't think Ziva wants to have sex with you."

"Oh hush McCloset."

"Tony, I'm not gay."

"Yeah, that's what all the online gamers say. So, Zee-vah, ninja's don't lose their balance over nothing. So what was it, the suit, the eyes, the hair, the smile?"

"No, Tony I have… H…"

"Hormones, yeah, everyone does. So what do you want then? My place, your place, nooner, you name it."

Suddenly Tony had a very hard slap to the back of the head. "Ow! Boss, I was just telling Ziva here that she needs to learn…"

"DiNozzo, if you don't stop propositioning my wife for sex, I will kill you slowly and painfully."

"You got MARRIED?" Tony yelped.

"See Tony, I told you Ziva didn't want to have sex with you."

"Yeah, but you didn't say she was married, McIntel," Tony complained, rubbing the back of his head. "Boss, I think you gave me a concussion."

"Good."

"Anyway, Tony, what I was trying to say earlier was that I am sick. I have Huntington's. I am dying, Tony."

Tony looked shocked. "D-dying?"

"Yes, Tony."

"How long?" He managed to ask.

"It usually kills around thirty-five to thirty-eight."

"That's seven to ten years."

"I know."

Gibbs handed Tony his NCIS badge. "You think you can handle your own team for good this time, DiNozzo?"

"You're leaving, boss?"

"I retired, Ziva quit, so you'll be getting a new probie soon. Hope you're ready to be a boss, DiNozzo. Oh, and don't forget to give Abby her caf-POW! Otherwise, she'll just have really bad migraines and not get any work done. You ready to go home, Ziver?" Ziva nodded and stood up from her chair but the tremors in her legs spilled her onto the floor. Tim got up to help her.

"I got it, McGee," Gibbs said, picking Ziva up.

"Boss, if you ever need anything, just call me. I'll do whatever I can."

"Not your boss anymore, McGee. But thanks."

"Sorry, Boss."

"Don't apologize. You're a good agent, Tim. Don't let DiNozzo tell you otherwise. And trust your instincts."

"On it, Boss."

Ziva handed Tony her badge. "Shalom, Tony. I will maybe see you around."

"Yeah. And Ziva?"

"Yes, Tony?"

"I still think you were falling for me."

Ziva snorted, "You wish, DiNozzo, you wish."

When Gibbs and Ziva left the bullpen, Tim turned to Tony. "Why were you such an ass?"

"I can't stand the thought of her dying, McGee. I just can't."

"Yeah well you made a mess."

"I did, didn't I?"

"Big time."

Tony sighed.

In the car, Ziva sighed heavily.

"What is it, Ziver?"

"I tell him I'm dying and he still makes jokes."

"That's how he deals with problems that are too big for him to handle, Ziver."

"It hurts, Jethro."

"I know. But you know he didn't mean to hurt you, right?"

"I know. I almost wish he did."

"Easier to be mad at him that way, huh?"

"Yes."

Gibbs sighed, opened his phone and sent Tony a text message. "Rule number forty-five A, DiNozzo."

Tony felt his phone vibrate. "New text message from Gibbs. Since when does Gibbs text, McNerd?"

"I don't know, Tony. What did he say?"

"Rule number forty-five A."

"Clean up your own messes. Sounds like you have a mess to clean up, Tony."


	18. Cleaning Up

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS

After work, Tony went to Gibbs' house. Gibbs and Ziva's house now, he supposed. He had flowers, peach roses, Ziva's favorite along with her favorite Mozart chocolates that he had sent McGee on an internet hunt for through the D.C. area. Tony entered without knocking and found Gibbs and Ziva at the kitchen table, eating dinner. Tony started at them. He had never seen his former boss sitting at the kitchen table to eat. Gibbs usually ate down in his basement while working on his boat or in his living room or sometimes he went without eating when he forgot, Tony knew.

"Did ya want somethin', DiNozzo?"

"To clean up the mess I made. I'm sorry I made a joke after you told me you were dying, Ziva. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just didn't want to deal with reality so I made a joke. It was stupid and childish and I'm sorry. Here, I brought you these." Tony placed the flowers in Ziva's arms.

"They are beautiful, Tony. Thank you. And I accept your apology. I know you didn't mean to hurt me, but it did hurt."

"I know, I'm sorry, Ziva. And we'll miss you around work. Here, these are from me and McGoogle. I had him track them down for you."

"Mozart chocolates? You should offend me more often. Thank you, Tony and thank McGee too."

"I will. Hey, Boss?"

"Not your Boss any more, DiNozzo."

"Yeah I know. I just wanted to say, and feel free to head-slap me afterwards but those things McGee said to you about calling him?"

"Yeah, what's your point, DiNozzo?"

"Well, he's a lot stronger than I am, Boss."

Both men stared at each other for a few moments.

"Point taken, DiNozzo."

"I'm sorry, Boss-man, Ziva, I'm really sorry." Tony turned and left before he could offend Ziva again or before Gibbs decided he was worth a head-slap.

Gibbs put the roses in a vase with water and set the chocolates on the counter. "Ziver, I've been thinking. Since McGee is willing to stay with you some times when I can't be here, I thought about teaching a night class in criminal justice at one of the community colleges around here. They said it was fine and hired me. I talked to Vance, and he agreed to let McGee off around 17:30 so he could come over here and spend some time with you."

"Vance was right, retirement did not even last you one day. What did Tim say?"

"He said yes. As long as you were willing."

"I am willing."

"I love you, Ziver."

"I love you, Jethro." Gibbs cleaned his kitchen and then took his wife upstairs to bed.


	19. A God Among Men

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS

Gibbs was going stir-crazy in anticipation for his class to start that night. Ziva was in a wheelchair most of the time now because the tremors had moved to her legs.

_They had celebrated Valentine's Day two months ago and people kept staring at them as Ziva kept knocking things over in the restaurant and she had finally picked up her crutches and stalked out into the night. Gibbs found her in the front seat of his car crying. "What's the matter, Ziver?" _

_ "Everyone thinks I am a freak, Jethro! I am twenty-eight years old and I cannot hold a glass of water and give myself a drink without spilling it all over everything! I wish I were dead." _

_ Gibbs cradled Ziva, "No you don't, you wish you could go back to normal." _

_ "Yes, but since that will not happen, I would rather I were dead." _

_ "And what would I do without you, Ziva?" _

_ "I do not know. Maybe find Hollis Mann! Or maybe find another red-head. Whatever it is, your life would be infinitely better than being stuck with me." _

_ "Ziva Rivka David, I would never go back to Hollis. And I am done with red-heads. And I am not stuck with you, I get to be with you. I love you, Ziva. I don't want to be without you ever. My life would be hell without you and don't you ever think or say otherwise." _

_ "My life is already hell, Jethro." _

_ She had slept on the couch that night, and Gibbs had cried into his pillow. He wished he were the one with Huntington's. He wished he could take her pain, insecurities and embarrassment all away. He wished that she could somehow be healed. He didn't ask for much in his life but he wanted Ziva to be comfortable and happy and he knew she would never be so long as she had Huntington's. _

Ziva watched Gibbs get ready for his class that evening. He had a nice button down shirt and a nice pair of jeans and some tennis shoes. He was clean and smelled good. His life was still going and hers had stopped. So Ziva sat in her chair feeling sorry for herself as her tremors kept shaking her body. She could die and the world would never mourn her loss because she had stopped contributing to society months ago and just existed eating valuable resources and leeching off of the world. She was a parasite. A lone tear escaped her eyes. Gibbs had been watching her. He knew she was stewing and pouting and he was trying to keep his excitement about his class to a minimum because of it.

He knelt down in front of her. "Ziver, what is it?"

"It is stupid."

"No, it's not. What?"

"You, you have a life and you get to live it. I have a life and I get to watch it run past me."

Gibbs reached for her but she wheeled away. "Ziver, we talked about this. I'll only be gone for a few hours. And you get to be with McGee and you like him."

"You bastard," Ziva wheeled past him and locked herself in the bathroom. Gibbs sighed and walked into the kitchen.

McGee walked in. "Hey Boss squared. How are you?"

Gibbs gave him the classic Gibbs' stare.

"Uh, okay, I'm guessing Ziva's pissed?"

"Ya think?"

"Why? I thought she liked me."

"She does, McGee. She's just angry at the world right now. And feeling bad for herself."

McGee sighed. "Where is she?"

"She locked herself in the bathroom. I have to go. Tell her I say bye. Oh, and McGee? Good luck."

Tim gulped. What had he gotten himself into? He went to the bathroom door and knocked. "Ziva, it's McGee. I thought we could maybe make dinner?"

A few shuffling sounds and then a click and the door swung open. It revealed a crying Ziva.

"You okay, Ziva?"

"Not really, Tim. I just made Jethro feel like shit."

"I'm sure he understands, Ziva."

"Does he, Tim? Does he really? Because even I do not understand."

"Sure he does. He knows how hard this is for you, watching your body betray you at every turn, not letting you be independent, making every task three times harder with the tremors, he knows. And he knows you're not mad at him. He knows that when you get pissed like that, it's you, fighting against your disease. Except your disease isn't here to fight with, so he gets it instead."

Ziva smiled slowly, "You really do get it. But how? Did you know someone with Huntington's?"

"Nope, John's Hopkins University. There was a girl I dated there, she was majoring in forensic science, like Abby. Anyway, she had a really mild case of Cerebral Palsy that kept getting worse with age because of muscle age deterioration. Not that Cerebral Palsy is progressive like Huntington's. Anyway, she used to get mad when things she used to be able to do got more difficult or impossible. And rather than being able to rage at her condition, she would get mad at me and yell at me. I knew she wasn't mad at me and yes, it hurt, but only because I knew how much she was hurting."

"What was her name?"

"Anne."

"You know what, Tim?"

"Yeah, Ziva?"

"I think I would like to make dinner," Ziva said with a grin.

Gibbs pulled into his driveway and sighed. He really didn't want to go back inside. He didn't want to face Ziva's pain knowing he couldn't do a damn thing about it. His class had gone well, he was excited to be teaching. But he would have to hide that unless he wanted another blow-up. He could drive around the block again, but he really didn't want to torture McGee any further. Sighing again, he got out of the car and walked into the house.

He opened the door quietly, praying that neither of them had heard the door. He wanted to assess the situation before McGee left. He heard Ziva's laugh ring out. Her laugh was loud, strong, clear and it lasted unlike the quiet, short, sarcastic chuckles he had grown used to. Ziva was laughing, it was nothing short of a miracle.

"Yup, I'm so dead when Boss gets home."

Ziva was still laughing.

"It's not funny, Ziva. He's gonna be pissed and kill me."

"It is a little funny, Tim."

"What the hell am I gonna tell him?"

"Tell him we re-enacted the Boston Massacre. Tell him it was my idea."

"The whole thing was my idea though."

"So, use rule number seven."

Gibbs called out, "Always be specific when you lie, McGee."

"Jethro!" Ziva wheeled herself to him and, for the first time in weeks, turned her face up for a kiss. Gibbs bent and kissed her, thanking god for McGee, whatever the hell he had done that he thought Gibbs would be pissed about, he was forgiven. Ziva wheeled back to the kitchen with Gibbs following her.

Gibbs stared at his kitchen, his once pristine kitchen was covered in spaghetti sauce, noodles, and pieces of meat. "What happened in here?"

"Tim and I made dinner!" Gibbs looked at his wife's beaming face. He hadn't seen Ziva this happy since, well, since he couldn't remember when. McGee looked guilty but also happy, Gibbs noted.

Gibbs also noted that his wife was covered in spaghetti mess. "I'm gonna run you a bath, Ziver and get your clothes in the laundry. McGee, use rule number forty-five A and clean up your mess."

"On it, Boss."

Gibbs got Ziva in the bathtub and her clothes in the laundry machine.

"McGee?"

"Yeah, Boss?"

McGee was cleaning the kitchen and doing a really good job of it, Gibbs thought.

"You're fired."

"Sorry Boss."

Gibbs sighed. "What did you do, McGee? She hasn't been that happy in months."

"I told her about Anne."

"Your old girlfriend from John's Hopkins?"

"Yeah. Told her that no matter how mad she got you understood it was because of her lack of independence and because she was frustrated."

"And then you turned my kitchen into a disaster?"

"No, then I suggested we make dinner. She misses cooking, Boss. And I let her feed herself too although that was probably a bad idea. She about took her eye out with her fork. Anyway, cleaning up the mess now, Boss."

"McGee?"

"Yeah, Boss?"

"I don't know how you did it, but you're a god among men. See you Wednesday. And bring something to cook. And a mop."

McGee grinned. "You got it, Boss!"

Later Gibbs lay in bed with Ziva. "Did you have fun with McGee?"

"Yes. And Jethro, I am sorry…"

"I know."

"Please, let me finish. Let me apologize because I hurt you. That is allowed, is it not?"

"Okay, Ziver."

"I am sorry for being such an ass earlier. You gave up your whole life to take care of me. It is understandable that you want a break occasionally."

"No kind of life without you in it, Ziver."

"I do love you, you know. I am sorry I have not been showing that lately."

"I know you do. And I love you too, Ziva."


	20. Help Me?

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS

Ziva cuddled up to Gibbs. "I am sorry that I do not want children, Jethro. But I could not condemn another person to a life like this."

"I know, Ziva, it's okay. I have you. That's all I need."

Ziva tried to caress Gibbs' cheek and because of the tremors almost poked him in the eye. There were tears in Ziva's eyes.

"We're okay, Ziver. We're okay." Gibbs took her hand and carefully laid it against his cheek, feeling the warmth and also feeling the tremors that ran like electricity through her whole body.

"I cannot even touch you without almost hurting you. This disease is like poison Jethro; it ruins anything it touches."

"It's all right, baby. I have you."

"But I want to touch you."

"If you'll tell me where, I can help you."

"That is sweet, Jethro but it is not the same."

Gibbs caressed Ziva's cheek, "Hey, it may not be the same but I can touch you back."

"I am surprised you still want to. Want me, after everything."

"Ziver, you will always be the woman I want. Doesn't matter to me if you shake all the time, or if you're pissed off, or that you're not as independent as you would like. It matters to me that you love me."

"I do love you, Jethro, so much. Will you… help me?"

Gibbs took Ziva's hands in his. "Always, Ziver, always. Now where to?"

"Buttons on your shirt." Gibbs held Ziva's hands as he unbuttoned his shirt. When his chest was bare, Ziva's hands softly touched his skin, slightly playing with his chest hair, Gibbs sighed in contentment, sliding Ziva's hands all over his chest and arms. "It has been so long, Jethro."

"Too long."

She kissed him, and he moved so he was over her. "I want to…" Ziva started but then stopped.

"You want to what, baby?"

"It will offend you."

"No, it won't."

"Trace your scars. Please."

Gibbs lay down again so he was beside her, took her right index finger and moved it over the more prominent scars on his abdomen. "This doesn't offend me, Ziva, the scars are a part of me, and scar tissue is very sensitive. I like it."

"Jethro?"

"Hum?"

"Do you remember the first time we finally made love?"

Gibbs' smiled. "Yeah, Ziver, I do."

_ His first time ever was in a cheap hotel in Nevada after the wedding. He had fumbled, Shannon had not. _

_ "Hey, isn't this your first time, Mrs. Gibbs?" _

_ Shannon had laughed, "Oh J, I've done this so many times in my mind that I know what I want. She caressed his body before pulling off her underwear and bra. She took off his belt and then winked at him. She lowered her mouth and using her teeth, lips and tongue undid the button on his jeans, she pulled down the zipper with her teeth._

_ Gibbs' cock throbbed and he knew he wanted her. _

_ She stripped him of his pants and boxers. And then she took him in her mouth. Her lips slid up and down and her tongue flicked rapidly over the tip of his cock before he finally came in her mouth. Shannon swallowed and came back to kiss Gibbs. _

_ "How did you… do that?" _

_ "Easy Jethro, lots and lots of mental fantasies. I wanted it to be perfect for us both." _

_ Gibbs caressed her breasts and lavished kisses all over her skin, He also used his tongue inside her and made her come for him. Finally he got a condom on and entered her. They found a rhythm and when they both came, they both knew they had found a reason to stay in bed all day. _

"Jethro?"

"Sorry, Ziver, what is it?"

"I asked what you were thinking about."

"Shannon."

A flash of pain flitted across Ziva's face.

"Hey," Gibbs said, caressing her face and pushing a curl back behind her ear. "I didn't tell you to hurt you. I was just remembering."

"Remembering what?"

"The night I got Shannon addicted to oral sex," Gibbs grinned sheepishly.

"I thought you said you didn't have time for fetishes," Ziva smirked.

"I just didn't wanna have that conversation with Abby." Ziva smiled. She knew that could have been awkward.

Gibbs leaned over Ziva and kissed her on the nose, "And someone I know has a biting fetish."

Ziva moaned and titled her head back, exposing her neck. Gibbs smirked and ran an index finger along her neck to her collarbone. "Do you want me to bite you, Ziver?"

"Yes," Ziva gasped out.

"Right now?"

"Yes."

"Now?"

"Yes."

"Nah, you really don't want me to bite you."

"Jethro…" Ziva moaned and half-screamed. Gibbs laughed lightly.

"Do you want me to bite you?" He whispered, his lips almost touching her neck.

"Yes, Jethro, please."

"I really don't think I will," Gibbs moved his mouth away from Ziva's neck.

"You… bastard… bite… me… now… please!"

"That's what the second 'b' is for," Gibbs teased before lowering his mouth to her neck and softly biting the flesh there. He bit and slightly sucked and licked his tongue over her neck making her cry out and climax. She turned over and eagerly bit Gibbs neck, worrying the skin in her teeth and sucking. "You're gonna give me a hickey, Ziver, and then… my students… won't… think much… of their… professor."

Ziva grinned. "You can stop me at any time, Jethro. You know how."

Somehow Gibbs managed to undress them both while Ziva bit at his neck. And suddenly he was inside her and they were both moving slowly. When they had both come and lay exhausted on the bed, Ziva spoke up, "That was a lot like our first time."

"Oh hell yeah." Gibbs cradled his wife in his arms and they both fell asleep, happier and more full than they had been in months.

Review please? Thank you!


	21. Just Another Day at the Office

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS

Tony DiNozzo was annoyed. He was still trying to find a probie to replace Ziva. 'That's impossible. Ziva's not replaceable.' His mind reminded him. McNerd was chatting with Abby about Ziva and Tony was trying desperately to block them out. The words 'tremors' and 'depression' and 'anger' kept getting tossed around. "Stuff it, McChatty. Abby, here's some money, go get yourself a caf-POW!" Tony snapped.

"What's wrong, Tony?" Abby asked.

"Nothing," Tony said.

Ducky walked into the bullpen and handed them all invitations to his annual chili supper that he held for the MCRT team and Abby every year.

"Ooh! I love this night!" Abby squealed, took the money from Tony and disappeared.

"I'll be there too, Ducky," said McGee.

"Very good, Timothy. That makes five of us so far then. And you, Anthony?"

"I think you miscounted, Duck-man. You, Abby, and McGee make three."

"No, my dear boy, I assure you I did not. Jethro and Ziva will be there also. Now, will you be coming?"

'Ziva,' Tony thought, 'oh dear.' "Sure, Ducky, count me in. Oh, and my girlfriend, Caroline. Is it all right if she comes too?"

"Of course! The more the merrier. This is so much fun, isn't it?" Tony nodded, although fun wasn't the word he would use to describe it.

At 17:30 McGee got up from his desk.

"Where do you think you're going, McSkipper?"

"To Ziva's. We're making meatloaf. You should stop by. I know she'd love to see you."

"Yeah, right, and I'd love to see her but these reports are…"

"Are done, Tony. What are you so afraid of?"

Tony snorted, "DiNozzo's are never afraid."

"Then why haven't you been by to see her?"

"I'm busy."

"You're not busy, Tony. Abby has, Palmer has, Ducky has, I have, even Vance has. You were her partner, Tony, doesn't that count for something?"

"I can't, McGee, I just can't. Seeing her in a wheelchair, seeing her helpless, I just can't stand it. You're a lot stronger than I am. And so is Abby. Ducky sees Ziva as a granddaughter and Vance was just being polite. I'd rather remember Ziva the way she was than how she is now."

"She's still the same person, Tony."

"No, she isn't. She can't fire a gun, or throw a knife or sneak up on anybody. That's part of what made her a ninja. With the ninja gone, I don't want to see what's left," Tony pointed to the upper part of his computer screen to emphasize his point. He still had not taken the one that had arrived, with a note from Ziva attached, out of the box to replace the broken one. Tim could still read the note. _Tony, Sorry about your computer screen. Hopefully this one will do. Miss you. Say hi to McGee, Abby, Ducky and Palmer for me. Enjoy swimming the internet. –Ziva _Tim sighed and walked out of the bullpen.

"Tim!" Ziva answered the door with a grin on her face.

"You're lucky she's happy, McGee or you would be dead. She gets excited every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Don't have a clue why she likes you so much."

"Jethro, are you jealous?"

"No."

"Yes you are, do not deny it. You are jealous of McGee."

"Fine, woman, I am jealous of McGee."

Ziva tipped her head to the side, wearing and expression that fell somewhere between confused and amused. "Why are you jealous? You know I love you."

"Yeah, but your face lights up like a kid on Christmas morning every time he walks through the door," Gibbs grumbled.

"Maybe because he lets me do whatever I want."

Gibbs sighed. "Have fun, you two." He walked out and closed the door. If he wasn't so sure that Ziva loved him, he would have been reluctant to leave.

Inside, McGee and Ziva began assembling the ingredients for meatloaf, carrots and mashed potatoes. McGee knew he'd be mopping up later but the look of pure joy on Ziva's face was worth the inevitable mess.

A few days later, Abby stood in Gibbs' kitchen trying to persuade Ziva to go shopping with her. "But you need a new outfit, Ziva."

"It is just Ducky's chili supper, Abby. I do not need new clothes for that."

"Yes you do! Oh come on, it'll be fun."

"That is what you said the last time."

"We can go to Bubble Tea," Abby offered. She grinned, knowing that was Ziva's favorite place to get drinks.

"Fine. Maybe I could get a new outfit."

"Yay!" Abby hugged her friend tightly.

"Let's get you dressed then." Abby got Ziva into a pair of cargos and a nice shirt. Abby helped Ziva into her coat and smiled as Gibbs handed her his credit card.

"Don't spend too much, Ziver," he warned and a smirk played across his lips. Ziva turned her face up for a kiss and Gibbs happily bent to kiss her softly.

Abby rolled Ziva's chair out to Gibbs' car, which he was letting them borrow because the hearse that Abby usually drove was unreliable. Abby got Ziva in the car, and loaded the chair into the trunk. After finding a radio station that was "tolerable" as Abby put it, they left and Ziva began to wonder why she had agreed to this shopping trip in the first place.

At the mall, Abby tried on lots of her usual black with red accented clothing. She finally found a black dress with red trim that she liked and some tights as well as very high platform shoes. "What do you think, Ziva?"

"It looks good on you," Ziva said. Abby looked adorable but Ziva knew that most people who tried on the dress would look awful.

"You should get one too! We could match. Be twins for a day!"

"Abby, I would not look good in that."

"You look good in everything."

"Abby, no, I would not wear that."

"But matching would be fun!"

"Abby, no."

"Why not, Ziva?"

"Because I cannot pull over the Goth style."

"It's pull off and yes you could."

"Abby! Seriously! No!"

"Fine," Abby pouted.

In the end, Abby got the dress and they wandered through stores looking for something for Ziva. Ziva wanted to be comfortable but she also wanted something that would look nice and yet be easy to get on and off. Finally Ziva found a pair of dark blue velvet pants with an elastic waist and the pants came with a zip up hoodie. She found a white lacy camisole to go with the outfit. Trying on the outfit was an adventure. Abby helped her but it was still difficult and painful. Afterwards, Abby handed Ziva a water bottle and a pain pill. Ziva spilled the water on herself and began cursing in Hebrew. The store clerk stared and spoke to Abby. "Maybe you should get her out of here. She might frighten away customers."

Abby got mad, "That's all you care about is your sales? You are so stupid. Don't you ever think that some people need a bit of help?"

"Yes, but if she is really mentally challenged, then maybe she should shop elsewhere."

"You think she's mentally challenged? What the hell made you think that, lady? The wheelchair? Lots of people who aren't mentally challenged use wheelchairs. Thanks a lot for stereotyping. Go away. We'll just buy this and leave." The lady silently rang up Ziva's purchase as Abby helped Ziva take her pain pill.

Later, after finding a pair of heels for Ziva, she and Abby were seated at Bubble Tea, sipping drinks.

"She was such a bitch. I should go back there and punch her face in," Abby fumed.

"Abby, it is fine."

"It's not fine. That was discrimination."

"I do not care, honestly."

"She insulted you. And you're okay with that?"

"It does not matter, Abby, really. She is just stupid. Let's talk about something else, yes?"

Abby listened to her friend but whipped her head around, "Look, Ziva, that's Tony. Tony!"

Abby got up and ran to Tony, hugging him.

"Oof, hey Abs, how are you?"

"Good. Just shopping with Ziva."

"Hey Abby, meet Caroline, my girlfriend. Caroline, this is Abby, friend and co-worker."

A tall blonde stepped forward. "Hello, it's nice to meet you."

"You too. Tony, you should come say hi to Ziva."

"Abby, I really don't think that's a good idea."

"Ex-girlfriend, Tonio?" Caroline asked.

"Nah, just an ex-co-worker and friend."

"Well, if she was just a co-worker you should go say hi."

Abby grabbed Tony by the arm and pulled him off to where Ziva sat. 'This was shaping up to be just another day at the office,' Tony thought, groaning, as Abby dragged him to Ziva.


	22. Life Support

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS

Ziva sat, looking slightly panicked, as Tony and Abby approached her. Whatever was she going to say to Tony? She could tell he was uncomfortable around her. And what on earth did one say? I am sorry that I have Huntington's? No, that would be like apologizing for being Jewish. I am sorry that you are such a jerk that you cannot be comfortable around me just because I am dying? No, it was not Tony's fault that he was scared seeing her this way. She was scared too. I am sorry that it cannot be like it used to? This was true at least but also wrong somehow.

"Hey there, Ziva."

"Shalom, Tony. How are you?" That was appropriate at least.

"I'm fine. How are you?"

"I am well," Well, it was the truth, at least for now. "Just shopping with Abby."

"Girl's day out, huh?" "Yes."

Abby took Ziva's new outfit out of the bag, "Isn't it pretty, Tony?"

Ziva could tell by Tony's expression, or lack thereof, that he did not find the outfit pretty or like anything Ziva would have worn in the past.

"Er… Sure.. It's great, Abs."

"So, I guess we will be seeing you at Ducky's chili supper?" Ziva asked Tony, suddenly tired and wishing he would just go away and put them both out of their misery.

"Yeah, I guess we will."

"We?" Ziva was curious, in spite of herself.

"Yeah, me and Caroline, my girlfriend."

"Right. Well then, we will see you."

Abby gave Tony another bone-crushing hug and then he left. "Why were you so rude to him, Ziva?"

"I was not rude. I know he is not comfortable around me."

"But you're his family, Ziva. You, me, Gibbs, and Ducky."

"Not anymore, Abby. Not anymore." Abby silently took her friends wheelchair handles and began to wheel her out to the car. She wished more than anything that everything could go back to normal.

Back home, Ziva curled up on the couch and read a book. She could not get past the page she had stopped at the night before. Her brain refused to comprehend the words on the page. She thought of Tony. He seemed very unhappy. The few moments he had spent with her at the mall were awful. She missed their easy teasing and banter. A few months ago, she would have known who Caroline was and had more than enough hints to piece together the weekends she and Tony shared. Now she had no idea who Caroline was or how long they had been together. She sighed. She missed work even though she knew she could not do her job anymore. She would have done anything to go back to NCIS. Her phone rang and she picked it up, "Yeah, David here."

"Hey Ziver, how was shopping?"

"It was fine. Where are you?"

"I just made a run to the store."

"Ah."

"I had a call from Vance. NCIS needs..."

"Needs you back, yes? I figured this would happen eventually."

"No, actually NCIS needs you."

"Do not be cruel, Jethro."

"I'm not. I'm serious."

"Be reasonable."

"I am. They have a case that needs you. You know the Huntington's support group I asked you about joining?"

"The one that I said no way in hell would I join?"

"Yeah, that one. Apparently there are Marine men selling muscle relaxants and anti-depressants and pain killers to the patients who attend this group."

"So they want me to be the informant?"

"Yeah, something like that. I'm here with McGee and DiNozzo now. I'm gonna come get you and then they can tell you more about what they need."

"That sounds wonderful! But why me? I cannot shoot or defend myself."

"They need you to be a Huntington's patient and also to be McGee's wife. You still have your Tali Haswari ID?"

"Yes."

"Good, bring that along." Gibbs' brought Ziva to NCIS headquarters.

"Hey Ziva."

"Shalom, Tim. I guess I am to be your blushing bride, yes?"

"Yeah. We go to the support group as a married couple, we get close to some of the people there, we learn from them about the drug dealers and then we make some arrests. Sound good?"

"It sounds wonderful. But why did Jethro tell me I needed my Talitha Haswari ID?"

"Because you need ID. I am Tim McFarland and Boss figured you would want to be Talitha Daniella McFarland so I told him I needed to make sure the two ID's matched. Unless you would rather be something else?"

"No, I am fine with Tali McFarland," Ziva handed over her ID and watched McGee type.

"We're staying at a safe house. Boss is playing your hired nurse. I'm a computer consultant."

"McNerd is being McNerd-y again," chimed in a voice Ziva didn't recognize.

"Oh, um, hi Caroline. Ziva, have you met Caroline?"

"Not officially no, but I did see her when Abby and I bumped into Tony at the mall. Nice you meet you, I am Ziva David," she extended a slightly trembling hand to Caroline.

"Ew, you're the sick girl, right?"

"Uh, I have Huntington's yes. I assure you that it is not contagious."

Caroline still refused to shake Ziva's hand.

"Hey, babe, ready for lunch?" Tony asked as he strode into the bullpen, grinning.

"Yes, I am honey. Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

"I love surprises!" Caroline squealed and left with Tony.

"Well, she is a bitch," said Ziva.

"Oh, you think so too?"

"Yes, Tim, I do. It is good manners to shake hands when being introduced to someone. And she also called you McNerd."

"Yeah, it's annoying when Tony does it but when other people do it too then it's just rude."

"And he really thinks she is attractive?"

"Oh yeah."

"Well, I want to shoot her."

"You're not the only one."

"Hum, I suppose I will have to kiss you in public. Oh I cannot wait to see Jethro jealous, it is so much fun!"

"And he'll kill me."

"No, he will not. He will want to catch the drug dealers as much as you do."


	23. Life Support part 2

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS

Ziva sat in her wheelchair with McGee standing next to her outside the community center that held the Huntington's support group meeting.

"Ready to go in, Tali?"

"Not really, Tim," Ziva answered truthfully. Both of them had earwigs and McGee had a pin on his sweater with a camera in it.

"Are you scared? Everything's gonna be okay sweet cheeks." McGee knelt down next to Ziva's chair to comfort her.

"I am not scared. I just do not want to meet other people who have this condition. That should be my own choice, yes?"

"Yeah, but if you don't go in, you can't give help."

"Do you not mean 'get help'?"

"Maybe, but I bet you could inspire someone in there."

"How? I gave up on my life, remember, Tim?"

"You didn't give up, you just took a detour."

"Whatever, I am sick of fighting about this. You go. I am staying in the car."

"Tali, sweet cheeks, be reasonable."

"I am reasonable."

"Not right now you're not."

"Go to hell, Tim."

Ziva's earwig squealed suddenly and then a voice crackled in her ear, "Enough arguing with McGoo. Go on, go inside," Tony said.

"I am sorry, Tim, really. I do not know what is wrong with me today."

"It's probably just nerves. You ready?"

"I guess so." Tim slowly pushed Ziva's chair up the ramp and inside.

"Hi, Tim and Talitha McFarland for the Huntington's support group. Where do we go?" McGee asked the receptionist.

The girl looked barely over twenty. She batted her eyelashes at McGee. "Oh, of course, I can take you there," she said, casting her eyes over McGee's body.

Ziva glared at her.

"I'm Jamie. It's so nice to meet you. Tim, right?"

"Yeah, that's right."

Jamie walked down the hall, moving her hips to show off her butt. Ziva noticed that McGee didn't look at Jamie but rather fixed Ziva with a look of pure adoration. She smiled in spite of herself. Maybe this support group would not be so bad after all.

"Do you want to do introductions or do you want me to, sweet cheeks?" McGee asked Ziva.

"You can, Tim."

When Bob, the guy running the group asked for their names and when Ziva was diagnosed, Tim spoke up and as he talked he felt himself tearing up.

"Well, Tali and I have been married for about five years. And I had no idea Huntingon's ran in her family. We didn't think it was something we had to worry about. So when she first… when she first got the tremors it was a shock to me. And… And the doctor… Sorry, the doctor said that it was rapidly progressing. We've only known for about six months. And I'm scared to lose her." McGee gave Ziva a hug and she whispered a thank you into his ear.

"And Tali," Bob asked, "How do you feel about your diagnosis?"

Ziva glared at him. "How do you think I feel? I feel trapped. I want things to go back to how they were, back when Tim and I were going to have a family and maybe take a few vacations and when everything was better."

"Was everything really better back then, Tali?" Bob asked.

"Maybe not. It just feels like it was. Now… now I hurt all the time. I cannot control my body. I yell at Tim. I say horrible, awful things that I do not mean but somehow cannot stop from coming out. I am frustrated."

"It helped some when I hired a nurse to be with Tali when I can't be."

"Are you on medicine, Tali?" Bob asked.

"Yes, but it is not working very well."

"Well, at least you decided to use medication."

"I was not aware that I had a choice," Ziva said.

"Sure. Some people decide not to use medicine because they don't want to live after their diagnosis," Bob said.

After the meeting, McGee and Ziva met the other people and chatted a bit with them. As they were leaving, they spotted the men dealing the drugs.

"Tim, three o'clock," Ziva said.

"Yeah, I see," McGee said, turning to make sure the men's faces got recorded on the camera. Once that was done, he helped Ziva into the car.

"So what did you think?" McGee asked.

"I did not enjoy it."

"I thought it was helpful."

"Really?"

"You're frustrated?"

"Yes, I am. But you already knew that."

"Yeah, but you never talk about it."

"What is the use of whining?"

"It isn't whining when you are talking about how you feel and it lets people who care about you know how you feel."

"But if they care, they should already know."

"But, Ziva, if you talk about your Huntington's, how you feel and what is going on I bet you would feel better."

"I do not want to talk about it anymore, Tim."

"But Ziva…"

"No, that is quite enough, Tim. I do not want to talk about it."

"Don't press her, Probie," Tony said into McGee's ear.

"Okay, fine. Sorry, Ziva."

"Tony told you to stop, yes?"

"Yes."

"Thank you, Tony."

"No problem, Ziva," Tony said.

"Hey Tony, would you like to go for a drink sometime?"

"I thought you couldn't drink with your meds," Tony said.

"I never said I would be drinking, Tony. I can have a soda. But… will you?" Tony sighed. He really didn't want to go. And yet, he had been listening to the entire meeting. Maybe this would be his gift to Ziva, hell, his gift to himself. He had missed her so much.

"Nevermind, Tony. Forget I asked."

"No, I'll go. When?"

"Tonight?"

"Sure."

That night, Ziva relaxed in her wheelchair at a neighborhood bar.

"Hey Ziva."

She jumped and then recovered. "Hello, Tony."

"Nice to see you."

"You too."

"Can I buy you a drink, Ziva?"

"A pepsi?"

"On it." After talking to the bartender, Tony set down the glass of pepsi in front of Ziva.

"I cannot drink it like that."

"Oh, uh… did you need a straw?"

"No, I have this… thing." Ziva handed Tony a sippy cup.

"It is humiliating, I know, but this way I do not make messes that are even more humiliating."

"Ah, okay. Well, I can fix that up for you." Tony poured the pepsi into the cup and put the lid on. "Here you go."

"Thank you."

"So how are you?"

"You are not allowed to ask that question. How are you?"

"I'm fine," Tony sighed, "I miss us, I miss how things used to be. Remember?"

"Yes, I remember. I do as well."

"What I said in Somalia, I meant. I couldn't lie."

"I know."

"I can't live without you."

"I know, Tony."

"And seeing you, like this, it hurts."

"I know."

"But I bet it hurts you more."

"I do not know about more, just maybe in a different way."

"I've been a real ass. I haven't even been by to see you."

"I know. It is okay."

"No, no it's not. We're a family. You, me, McGee, Gibbs, at least we used to be. And families don't ignore each other in a crisis."

Ziva extended her hand and set it atop Tony's, where it jerked and trembled and almost fell off the table. Tony quickly covered Ziva's hand and squeezed it. "At least you are here now, Tony. That is what matters."

"Hey, can I buy you a drink, or are you even old enough to drink? Sippy cups are for toddlers. Didn't you get that memo sweetheart?" A guy sneered down at Ziva.

"Hey asshole, leave her alone," Tony said.

"She your girlfriend?"

"No, she's my best friend. Get lost."

"So she's a toddler."

"She's more mature than you are, idiot."

"Right. Well, at least I can drink out of a glass."

Tony stood, his hand hitting the table. "Listen to me you stupid, fucking bastard. My best friend is one of the best people alive. And there is nothing, not even a sippy cup that could ever diminish her in my opinion. She's still my crazy ninja chick. Now, get out of here and leave us the hell alone."

Instead, the guy brushed Ziva's cheek with his fingertips. Her foot shot out and connected twice, once with his shin and once in his crotch. He doubled over, gasping before limping away. "You crazy bitch."

"Sorry, dirtbag, I have Huntington's; involuntary muscle movement is one of the symptoms." Ziva smiled and then began to laugh, and so did Tony.

He moved to hug her and said, "Yup, still my crazy ninja chick."

Ziva hugged Tony back. "Yes, still watching my six."

"Always, Ziva, always."


	24. Dealing

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS.

Ziva sat in yet another Huntington's Support Group with Tim sitting next to her.

Sue, a woman whose husband had left her when he found out about her diagnosis, was speaking, "Well, I guess I feel okay. I mean, I'm on an experimental drug trial. It seems to be helping. I just wish Bill hadn't left me. I know it's hard, dealing with this disease, but I still have a life, you know? Just because I can't walk or hold a glass doesn't make me a bad person."

Ziva stifled a sigh and responded, "So move on. Get out there and find a date. You are a pretty girl."

Sue snorted, "Yeah, easy for you to say. Your husband wasn't a bastard. Tim stayed. Bill left."

"So forget about the jerk. Do something you always wanted to do. Travel maybe. But don't wallow."

"Oh, and I'm sure you never wallow. Right, Tim? Your wife doesn't wallow, right?"

Tim turned red, "Well, yeah, she does sometimes but I'm pretty good at pulling her out of it."

"Ah ha! See? You're just as bad as I am," Sue said.

"I cannot take much more of this," Ziva yelled.

"Tali, sweet cheeks, calm down."

"Okay everybody, let's take a ten minute break," Bob said.

Ziva rolled her chair into the hallway. "Tim, I am going crazy here. Everyone is whining. No one wants to be helped, they just want their ten minutes of whining time."

"Just a few more weeks, sweet cheeks. Just a few more weeks and we can be done here. Can you tough it out for me and Gibbs?"

Ziva took a deep breath. "Okay. I am better. I can do this."

"Atta girl." Tim smiled and walked back towards the room.

"Hey, lovebirds, let's see a kiss," Sue taunted.

"Uh, sorry, we don't kiss on command," Tim said.

"Are you two even married?" Sue asked, "I've never seen you be affectionate with each other."

Ziva chuckled and said, "That is only because we did not want to make anyone uncomfortable." She turned Tim around so he was facing her and pulled him down for a passionate kiss.

"Oh, wow. Okay, yeah, I see what you meant," Sue said, walking away.

Tim blushed and pulled back from Ziva. "Wow."

"Surprised, my love?"

"Yeah, you haven't been feeling well for a few days. I'm just glad to know you're okay."

"I am fine."

"Good," Tim squeezed her shoulder and pushed her chair back into the room.

After a few more people whined and groaned, Ziva was more than ready to call it a day. When she and Tim left the support group, she let out a sigh of relief.

"Glad to be done, sweet cheeks?"

"Yes, Tim, I am. Could we stop for ice cream before we go review the tapes with Tony?"

"Sure. Mint chocolate chip, right?"

Ziva smiled, "You know me too well."

After getting ice cream, Ziva sat in the bullpen with Tony, McGee and Agent Warren Stephenson, the new probie who had replaced Ziva.

"As we can see, the dealers are here," Tony pointed on the plasma, "and they just loiter around until the meeting is over. Why do these people whine, Zee-vah?"

"Maybe because they are dying, Tony."

"Right, sorry. But you don't whine."

"I do sometimes."

"Anyway," Warren interrupted, "they are clearly dealing, so what's our next step?"

"I already told you, probie-squared, we wait for a week and a half and then McGoo and Boss-man and you and I move in to arrest them. We do this all without hurting Ziva. Nice kiss, by the way. Did you enjoy that, probie?"

McGee blushed.

"The answer's 'no' McGee," Gibbs said as he walked into the bullpen.

"Sorry boss."

"Do I look like your boss, McGee?"

"Uh, no boss, sorry boss, won't happen again boss."

"Yeah it will."

"Sorry." McGee said.

"Jealous, Jethro?" Ziva asked, turning to rest a hand on his arm.

"Nah."

"Humm, too bad, I suppose I will have to try harder next time."

"Can we please get back to work, now, boss?" asked Warren, looking at Tony.

"Sure probie-squared. What've you got to add?"

"Uh, I just thought we could maybe work out a plan, boss?"

"We have a plan, probie-squared. Next meeting, Ziva asks to buy the drugs. Ziva buys the drugs, Abby runs them through the lab to check their chemical make-up. We can also pull fingerprints off the bottles and bags the guys use to run background checks to see if they have a history with the law. Ziva buys more drugs. Once she's seen as a customer, they'll treat her like one and let their guard down a bit which is when we grab them. Unless you have a better plan, probie-squared?"

"Uh, no boss, I'll just shut up now."

"Good plan."

"DiNozzo!"

Yeah, boss-man?"

"Never kick a probie when he's down. It's like kicking a puppy."

Tony chuckled and walked off to go find the vending machine. Yup, they were dealing, they were all dealing with Ziva's Huntington's. Except for maybe probie-squared but that was just because he didn't really know Ziva that well. Tony thought of all the things that could be dealt: drugs, feelings, and cards. Everybody, in some way or another had dealt with something at some point. Tony sighed and leaned against the vending machine thinking that there were also things that no one wanted to deal with. Suddenly he was struck with the image of Ziva assulting the copier as she had after taking out the serial killer that she had pretended to date. He missed the ninja in her. He punched the vending machine and a Hershey bar fell out. He picked it up for Ziva and got himself a package of Twizzlers. Yup, dealing. Tony sighed, this was shaping up to be a long case.


	25. According to Plan

I don't own NCIS

At the safe house that night, Gibbs kept slamming down the pots and pans as he cooked dinner.

"Jethro? Why are you banging the pans?"

"I'm not."

"You are."

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are. What's the matter?"

"Nothing woman, just leave it alone."

"You are jealous because I kissed McGee today, yes?"

"No."

"Jethro, you are."

"Fine I am."

Ziva reached an arm around Gibbs' waist. "Jethro, it's a mission. Once we take out these drug dealers, I will go back to being just plain Ziva Gibbs. Just a few more weeks, J, just a few more weeks."

"What did you just call me?"

"J… I am sorry, was that not okay?" Gibbs turned away from the stove. "Oh Ziver. You were right. I was jealous." Gibbs bent and pressed a kiss to Ziva's lips.

"Does this mean I am forgiven for kissing McGee?"

"Hell no. I'm still pissed."

McGee walked into the kitchen. "Hey boss, is dinner ready?"

"Yeah. Grab a plate."

"And go away McGee." Ziva said.

"Oh right. I'll just uh… Sorry Ziva. Boss."

A few days later, Ziva and McGee were back at the Huntington's Support Group. "Uh, Tali?"

"Yes, my love?"

"Do you think my boss is mad at me?"

"Um, Tim, you are your own boss."

"Oh, right."

"What the hell's the matter with you? Probie!" Tony squealed in McGee's ear.

"Sorry."

"Discuss this later, McGossip. Do your job."

After sitting though the meeting Ziva began to complain about how much pain she was in. "And these drug trials do not do anything to stop the pain or the tremors."

"I'm so sorry, sweetcheeks, I wish I could help." McGee knelt and began to massage Ziva's legs. Ziva groaned because of the pain.

"You know, I know something that should help your wife, Tim." Sue said, coming up next to McGee.

"Oh yeah Sue?"

"Yeah, there are these guys outside, you just walk up and tell them you want a piece of the sky and then they'll give you some amazing stuff. It should really help, Ziva."

"Thank you, Sue." Ziva said.

"No problem. You're one of us, honey."

Tim pushed Ziva's chair outside and rolled her up to the guys who were loitering around.

"Hey you, shove off," one of the men said.

"Sorry, but I want a piece of the sky. Sue sent me," Ziva said.

"Aww… then you're okay. Hook her up, dudes." Ziva took the bottles and she and Tim left.

"Did you get all that, Tony?"

"Yeah Probie, I did."

"Okay, see you in a bit then."

"Over and out, Probie."

"Do you think he'll ever stop calling me Probie, Ziva?"

"I doubt it."

"Hey, McChatty, shut up and drive."

"On it boss."

"That'll never get old."

McGee rolled his eyes and began to drive to the navy yard.

Ziva went down to Abby's lab as soon as she and McGee arrived at NCIS. "Hey Abby. I got the drugs and Tony wanted to have them processed to see what they are and what they contain. If anything besides the drugs they are supposed to be."

"Sounds great, Ziva. How are you?"

"I am… okay, I suppose."

"Oh, it hurts, doesn't it?"

"Yes it does."

"You should go review the footage that McGee got today so you can go back to the safe house and lay down."

"Thank you, Abby."

Abby hugged Ziva tight. "You're welcome."

Gibbs shot glares at McGee and Ziva alternately in the bullpen. Warren was wisely staying out of the silent argument that seemed to be happening amongst the people present.

"So what've we got?" Tony asked, walking into the bullpen. He stopped and glared at Gibbs and Ziva. He strode over to them both and headslapped them.

"Ow!"

"DiNozzo!"

"You two were mad at each other. I don't like it."

Ziva smiled and said, "Neither did we." Ziva kissed Gibbs. "

You two, go home, get some rest," Tony said. "

Thank you, Tony," said Ziva.

"Welcome. Get out of here."

Back at the safe house, Ziva curled up with Gibbs. "I like it when you are not mad at me, Jethro."

Gibbs brushed the hair away from her face, "Me too, Ziver, me too."


	26. Twisted Sister

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS. I do own Agent Warren Stephenson, however.

Very Special Agent Tony DiNozzo was throwing paper balls at Agent Warren Stephenson while he waited for Gibbs and Ziva to come to the campfire he had arranged so they could all discuss what they knew about the people in the Huntington's Support Group and the drug-dealing marines.

"Boss, I really wish you'd stop wasting the office supplies. That means we're wasting the money in our budget."

"Quit sounding like Vance, probie-squared."

The phone on Tony's desk began to ring. "Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo's desk. How can I help you?"

"This is Steve at the security desk. You have a visitor, Agent DiNozzo."

"It's not my father, is it?"

"No, it's a woman."

"Oh. She say what she wanted?"

"No, only that it's personal, sir."

"Well, send her up."

"Right away, sir."

"And don't call me sir, I work for a living."

"Sorry, sir. Have a nice day." Tony hung up and sighed.

"What's up, Tony?" McGee asked.

"I have a visitor."

"Ooh, and a woman visitor at that. Who is she?"

"She didn't say, probie. But I personally think she could use more good old-fashioned DiNozzo lovin'."

McGee rolled his eyes and went back to checking his bank statement.

A wheelchair stopped in front of Tony's desk. "Was a security escort really necessary, Zee-vah?"

"I am not Ziva. You are Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo?" The accent the woman used was so familiar and yet Tony hoped he was wrong.

"I am. You're…Israeli?"

"Very good, Tony. Michael did not give you enough credit. He said you were very stupid."

Who's Michael?"

Tony looked at the woman for the first time and then stared, shocked by what he saw. The mystery woman was slim and short, and wore tan cargo pants and a fitted olive green sweater. She had dark brown eyes and her hair was covered completely with a headscarf. She wore a simple golden Star of David and tan hiking boots.

"Agent Michael Aaron Rivkin: Mossad. You killed him."

"You weren't there," Tony said automatically, "Who are you?"

"You could have put a round in his thigh but no, you put four in his chest!" The woman screamed at Tony. "And it does not matter who I am. I am not here to see you, anyway. I came to see retired Special Agent Ziva Rivka David."

"You loved Michael," Tony said, dully, aware that this conversation mirrored the one he had had with Ziva, back in Israel a few years ago. Who the hell was this woman?

"Yes," she said simply.

The mystery woman shoved away from Tony's desk and rolled up to McGee's. "Could you put this on the plasma, please, Agent McGee?" She handed him a photo. McGee scanned it into his computer and stifling a gasp, put it up on the plasma. Tony and McGee stared at the photo. It was a photograph of three children: an older, first-born boy; a middle girl child; a smaller, toddler girl. Both men recognized the photo. Ziva had a copy in her house. It was a picture of her, Ari and Tali.

"Who. Are. You?" Tony demanded.

"Who do you think I am, Agent DiNozzo? Agent McGee, in your e-mail you should find a message from a doctor's office here in D.C. Pull up the DNA test results and put them on the plasma next to the photo, please."

"I don't know who you are but if you mess with my family, I will kill you. Let me ask again, who are you?" Tony said.

"I am getting to that, Agent DiNozzo. Do you not like foreplay?" This effectively shut Tony up and he glared at the woman.

"Agent McGee, if you will, run the test against Ari Haswari and Ziva David. Both should be in your AFIS database. The results…"

"…Go on the plasma next to the DNA test."

"Sexy and smart. Very nice Agent McGee." The woman smirked, reminding Tony of Ziva but he brushed the feeling aside.

"Good morning Tony. Ready to campfire?" Ziva rolled into the bull pen. "What is my photograph doing on the plasma, Tony? I know you have complete disregard for personal belongings but why put my photograph up on the plasma?"

"I didn't, Ziva. She did," Tony said, pointing at the strange woman.

Ziva cursed in Hebrew. "You little bitch. Where did you get that photo?" Ziva rolled over to the woman and squeezed her shoulder. Tony knew Ziva had hit some pressure points but the woman didn't even squeak which impressed him. "I said, where did you get that photo?"

The woman chuckled. "I see dear Eli has taught you well, Ziva-leh."

"Um, Boss, Ziva, this woman's DNA matches half of Ari Haswari's, half of Eli David's and half of Ziva's. According to genetics, Ziva, this woman is your sister." McGee said.

"My sister is dead, McGee. Killed in a Hamas suicide bombing when she was sixteen."

Ziva released the woman's shoulder as she chuckled, "That is what Eli wanted you to think. He knew that so long as I lived, you would never be completely his, Ziva."

"You liar!"

"No, Ziva, I am not a liar. Michael Rivkin saved me. I was supposed to die, yes. And I very nearly did. But he found me, carried me to the hospital, stayed with me. He gave me an alias, a home, and later a visa and a passport. He and I were lovers."

"Ha! You lie! Michael and I were lovers."

"I was caught with shrapnel from the bombing at the coffee shop. It lodged in my spine. C4-injury; I am paralyzed. Which is why I have to use the wheelchair. Then I went to the hospital and got operated on. I went through recovery and physical therapy. Michael stayed with me. Then he got me a new identity, arranged a closed-casket funeral, and gave you a shoulder to cry on while you mourned my loss. We found an apartment in Haifa. Michael used his undercover operations clearance to get me a new identity, as his wife. Then when Eli began to construct his mission to lure you back to Israel using Michael as bait, Michael and I came to America. He to lure you back to Eli and Mossad, and I to set up residence here in D.C. Once Michael had you safely back in Israel, he was going to leave Mossad and then come here to be with me. Still think I am lying, Ziva?"

"Yes, no, maybe. You and Michael?"

"Yes."

"How… how… how is all that possible? Would Eli really… do that?"

"He wanted you to be loyal only to Mossad. He knew my death would ensure that. I am Talitha Daniella David, your sister."

"You said you changed it?" Ziva asked, smiling slightly.

"Yes, Natalia Rachel Rivkin. Still just Tali."

Ziva hugged the woman suddenly and kissed her cheeks. Tali returned the hug and kisses. "Welcome home, Tali, welcome home."

"And you, why are you in the wheelchair?"

"Do you remember Aunt Sarah, Tali?"

"Yes."

"I have Huntington's. Which is why I came to NCIS today. I am working a case."

"Huntington's? My god. I'm so sorry, Ziver."

"Me too, Tali. Me too."

"Hey, you two. Case. What've we got?" Tony cut in.

"Oops. Sorry Tony. I guess I should get to work." Both women began to giggle uncontrollably.

Everyone pulled up chairs around Tony's desk to campfire about their case while Tali unwound her head scarf, letting lose her black curls that tumbled down her back. McGee stared.

As the team took a bathroom break, Tony heard Tali ask Ziva, "Agent McGee is cute. Do you know if he is single?"

"I believe so, yes. And he was staring at you during campfire. Are you ready to move on, though? I will not let you break McGee's heart."

"Yes. It has been three years since Michael died. I believe I am ready."

"You could not have made a better choice than McGee, Tali."

"Just Gibbs, yes? Congratulations, by the way."

"Well, yes, for me, Gibbs. But you cannot have him, he is mine. And thank you."

Tony shook his head. Work was shaping up to be a weird place today where dead people turned up alive and McNerd was "cute".


	27. Don't Yell Fire in the Bullpen

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS.

Tony cracked his knuckles and leaned back in his chair lazily, "Okay so here's the plan. Ziva will get more drugs from the dealers to establish rapport and then they'll learn to trust her. Then…"

"I work with Abby and get them all set up for arrest." "

Okay, McInterrupt."

"Sorry boss."

"And once we have the arrest warrents from legal along with search warrents for their apartments to add in more possible evidence to back up the arrest charges, probie-squared..."

"…Working on it, boss."

"Work faster."

"Right."

"Then we go and wait for Ziva to buy the drugs again, once they exchange drugs for cash then we move in and arrest them. We clear?"

"Crystal boss."

"Warren?"

"Got it."

"Zee-vah?"

"On your six, Tony."

"Boss?" Tony asked Gibbs.

"Good plan, DiNozzo."

"Okay, good work team DiNozzo. Go get lunch."

"Thanks Boss."

"Thanks Tony." Warren and McGee got up and headed for the elevator.

"Wait, Tim, may I come with you?" Tali asked.

"Uh, sure, Tali, if you want. If it's okay with Ziva."

"My sister can make her own decisions, McGee." Ziva said.

"Uh, right. Okay, sure. Let's go. Any food in particular you like?"

"I really like cheeseburgers."

"But you're Jewish."

"So?"

"Well cheeseburgers aren't exactly kosher."

"McGee!"

"Yeah, Ziva?"

"If you are going for cheeseburgers, will you bring me one back?"

"Sure…"

"Toda."

"Welcome."

"So playing matchmaker between the probie and your sister?" "

I do not know what you are talking about," Ziva said, smirking. "I only wanted a cheeseburger, Tony."

"Sure you did, Zee-vah."

"I did, really."

Tony smirked.

"DiNozzo, leave my wife alone."

"Sorry boss." Gibbs slapped Tony's head. "Ow boss."

"Just a reminder, DiNozzo."

"Tony," Abby squealed and threw herself into his arms.

"Oof. Hey Abs. Have something for me?"

"Yeah, lots of stuff. Want to come down to Labby and I'll show you? Gibbs!" Abby gave Gibbs a bone-crushing hug.

"Hey Abs," Gibbs said, kissing her cheek.

"Where's McGee, Gibbs?"

"Out to lunch Abs. The case?"

"He went to lunch without asking me what I wanted?"

"How bout I get you a caf-POW and you can tell DiNozzo about the case?"

"Sounds super, Gibbs!"

"Let's go."

"How do you do that?" Tony whispered to Gibbs.

"Easy DiNozzo, just distract her."

In the lab, Abby's music of choice Brain Matter was playing loudly. Gibbs turned the volume down. "Okay, here's what I've got for you, Tony. I pulled all of the fingerprints off the bottles that Ziva brought me and ran them through AFIS. Now, obviously, Ziva's prints matched her own. And I got prints on all three guys. Those guys that Ziva got the drugs from are privates in the Marine Corp. Private first class Matthew Green, served in Iraq. Two tours of duty. Decided he wanted to get married. Cashed a few bad checks. Oh, and he stole a few people's identities for the money. So he joined up as the dealer in our little three-ring circus."

"And the other two, Abs?"

"Private first class Christian Jameson. In Matt Green's unit. Bunk buddies. Serves as a pharmacist and a medic. He supplies the drugs. The other guy is obviously there as a sort of protection. Private first class Mark Hunter. Specializes in weapons, knows karate, krav maga, and kickboxing."

"Thanks Abs."

"Wait, Tony, there's more."

"Yeah?"

"The pain pills were laced with heroin and the muscle relaxants were laced with cocaine. That makes them even more addictive than usual. Tony, once these people get addicted, they stay addicted. There's no way to break the cycle. Not only are their bodies hooked on the pain pills and the muscle relaxants but their also hooked on the heroin and cocaine. And the addiction symptoms and withdrawl would all be covered by their Huntington's. It's the perfect crime, Tony."

"Yeah. Thanks Abs!"

"You're welcome."

"Here ya go. Caf-POW, Abs."

"Thanks, Gibbs."

Tony was watching Tali and Ziva eat their lunches, McGee had gotten burgers for everyone and a veggie burger for Abby. Both Tali and Ziva were teasing each other in lilting Hebrew. McGee was showing Warren how to do something on his computer and Gibbs was sleeping in Tony's chair. Suddenly the fire alarms went off. "Oh shit," Tony yelled. He grabbed Ziva chair only to find she wasn't in it.

"Stairs, DiNozzo, I got her." Ziva was on Gibbs' back, piggyback style.

"Boss… how…?"

"Lots of practice, DiNozzo, move it."

McGee picked Tali up bridal-style and moved towards the stairs. "Sorry, Tali. Hope you don't mind."

"Not at all."

Tony grabbed one wheelchair and Warren grabbed the other.

Vance stood outside, monitoring the NCIS agents as they all came out of the building. Surprisingly Team DiNozzo made it out first.

"DiNozzo, you could have let the fireman help you guys out."

"DiNozzo's rule number 1, director. Never sit on the sidelines when your people need you."

"This was only a drill, Agent DiNozzo."

"But it might not have been, director."

"Fair enough."

Tony moved over to his team. "You okay probie-squared?"

"Yeah boss."

"Okay probie?"

"Yeah Tony, I'm fine."

"Boss?"

"I'm good, DiNozzo."

"Ziva?"

"I am fine, Tony. Thank you."

"Tali?"

"I am great. Thank you."

"Good job team." Tony couldn't believe that they had a fire drill today of all days. "You know what guys? Go home. Good work today. See you tomorrow."

"Seriously Tony?" McGee asked.

"Yeah probie. We started the day with a campfire and it seems appropriate to end it with a fire drill." Tony smiled at Vance and walked away, happy that his team was on the verge of closing a case.


	28. Healing

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

Tony DiNozzo was glad that after today the case would wrap up. He just wanted the drug dealers in jail. He, Gibbs and Warren sat in an unmarked vehicle just outside the Huntington's Support Group. Over the last few weeks the dealers had become friends with Ziva and Tim and they loved to see them approach and ask for their piece of the sky. Ziva was glad the op was almost over so she could go back to her life. Tim wanted the op to be over because he had a date with Tali that night.

"Get in position, probie." Tony said.

"I am." McGee said.

"Fine. Go do your meeting thing."

Ziva sat quietly through the meeting, pausing only to text McGee, _Hurt her and die Tim._

McGee checked his phone. _What do you mean? I'm not going 2 hurt her. I like her. _

Ziva smiled. _Good. She likes you too. _

Tim grinned. "Something you'd like to share, Mr. McFarland?"

"No, sorry, Bob. I was just thinking about how nice it is that we have some place to come and talk about Huntington's."

Tim pulled out his phone again. _Taking her to La Capital. Think she'll like it? _

Ziva texted him back. _Ooh, fancy. She will love it. Pre-date gift: chocolate truffles, dark, Irish Crème and Raspberry. NOT flowers! _

Tim looked puzzled. _Why not flowers? Every girl likes flowers._

Ziva sighed and rolled her eyes. _Tali does not like flowers, Tim. Trust me._

Tim shrugged. _Okay, thanks Ziva. _

After the meeting, Ziva rolled over to the Marines and asked for a piece of the sky. She carefully took the bottles and then got into the car while McGee was purposely having trouble with the cash.

"N.C.I.S. federal agent! Hands in the air, now!" Tony yelled.

Warren cuffed Matthew Green while Gibbs arrested Christian Jameson. Tony, with McGee's help, arrested Mark Hunter but not before he got off a shot. Ziva screamed as though she'd been murdered and Mark took advantage of the confusion of the team to fire off another round.

As Ziva screamed again, Gibbs yelled, "Warren, get her to safety and then call an ambulance." Warren pushed her away as fast as possible before calling 911 and requesting an ambulance for the retired NCIS agent.

The ride back to the Navy yard was quiet. Tony was stewing about Ziva being hurt. McGee was wondering how to tell Abby. Gibbs was driving but even that couldn't take his mind off his thoughts. Had Shannon screamed like that during the accident that had taken her life? Had Kelly? Had the NIS agent? _"They're both dead Gunny. I'm sorry." "No!" _Warren was gripping the backseat cup holders in Gibbs' car until his knuckles turned white.

"Boss you really didn't have to drive us back, we could have gone with the other team when they took the dealers back to the Navy yard," McGee said.

"Stuff it McGee," Gibbs said.

Tony, Tim, and Warren wrote up the reports of what happened while arresting the drug dealing Marines. Each of them all had different perspectives on Ziva being shot. Once they had finished their reports, Tim and Tony headed to Bethesda to see Ziva. Gibbs had handled the interrogations of the Marines and had made all three men cry because he was so angry about Ziva getting shot. Once Gibbs was sure the men would be booked, he headed to Bethesda to be with his wife.

Ziva had been shot in the knee and the abdomen. She had gone into surgery and Abby had been waiting for her when she came out. "Hey Ziva, how're you feeling?"

"It hurts, Abby," Ziva said.

"I'm sure it does, Gibbs will be here soon," Abby said, squeezing Ziva's hand lightly.

"Abby, how did I get shot? What happened?" Ziva asked.

"I'm not sure, Ziva," Abby told her, hugging her friend.

Tony walked down the hallway at Bethesda. He flashed his badge at the desk. "Special Agent Tony DiNozzo, NCIS. I'm here to see Ziva David."

"She just came out of surgery. She's in room 327. You can go on back," the nurse said.

Tony took the elevator up and walked down the hallway to room 327. He'd stopped at the gift shop for a small teddy bear the size of his hand. He knew it wasn't actually the best gift but he couldn't find anything else. He walked in and handed the bear to Ziva. "Here you go Ziva. I thought you might like this."

"Thanks Tony. I love it," Ziva took the bear and cuddled it lightly against her body. "Tony, do you know what happened when I got shot?"

"I dunno Ziva, everything was so messed up. And then we heard shots go off and we panicked. Boss man booked those idiots though and he'll be here soon."

Tim walked in, "Hey Ziva. How are you feeling?"

"I am okay, Tim. What are you doing here, do you not have a date with Tali tonight?"

"Yeah but I figured that I could cancel."

"What? No, you cannot do that."

"Really, you still want me to go?"

"Of course! She is my sister McGee. I want the both of you to be happy."

"You don't want me to stay here with you?"

Ziva threw her pillow softly at Tim, "No, I want you to go and enjoy your time with Tali."

"Okay Ziva. If you're sure."

"Yes I'm sure."

"Okay well then I should go." Tim hugged Ziva and turned and walked out. As he walked out, Gibbs rushed in.

"Ziver, are you okay?" Gibbs kissed Ziva and wrapped his arm around her.

"I will be fine, Jethro."

"Where'd probie go?" Gibbs asked.

"He had a date with Tali tonight and I did not want him to cancel."

Tony moved to sit on the end of Ziva's bed, "I still can't believe probie's going out with your sister Ziva."

"I am glad he is, Tony. Tali really likes him. Jethro, do you know what happened when I got shot?"

"I'm so sorry, Ziver, I don't. It all happened so fast."

"Well, if you're sure you're okay Ziva, I think I'm gonna go," Tony said.

"Yes I am fine. Enjoy your evening."

Tony walked out and Abby hugged Ziva and then followed him out the door. Gibbs sat next to Ziva and held her. "I'm so sorry Ziva, this wasn't supposed to happen."

"I know Jethro, but it is okay really." Ziva cuddled against Gibbs and closed her eyes to rest.


	29. Party Time

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

With the case finally wrapped up and Ziva out of the hospital, it was finally time for Ducky's chili supper. The team had been waiting and now there were new people to include. Abby showed up at Mallard Manor wearing the black and red outfit that she and Ziva had gotten on their shopping trip months ago. Abby had also gotten over her aversion to new additions to the team and had asked out Warren Stephenson a few weeks earlier. They arrived together and Ducky was playing the gracious host. They all relaxed in the library with Ducky walking out to check on the chili every few minutes. Tim and Tali arrived next and greeted Abby and Warren. Tali was teaching Tim a few Hebrew phrases and Tim was teaching Tali about American idioms.

"Timmy!" Abby launched herself into Tim's arms.

"Oof, hey Abs."

"Tali," Abby said.

"Shalom, Abby," Tali said.

"Hi Tali," said Warren.

"Shalom, Warren," Tali said, smiling at him and causing Warren to stutter.

"H-h-h-hey T-t-t-t-t-tim," Warren stammered.

"Hey Warren."

Tony and Caroline walked into the library.

"Hey guys, where's boss-man and Zee-vah?" Tony asked.

"They aren't here yet, Tony," McGee said.

"Yeah I can see that, Probie," Tony snapped slightly, "Does anyone know where they are?"

"Tonio, relax. I'm sure your old boss and your ex-co-worker will be here soon," Caroline said, putting her hands on Tony's shoulders.

Warren started doing a puzzle that he found on Ducky's shelves. Abby, Tim and Tali joined in and so did Tony.

"A puzzle Tonio, really? Are you five or thirty-five?" Caroline asked.

"Caroline, these are my friends, you could help us you know. Sometimes being child-like is a good thing for a while," Tony.

Caroline sniffed and got a book off the shelves. Jimmy walked in.

"Hey guys! What's up? Oh, a puzzle, nice. Can I help?"

"Hey Palmer, sure come on," everybody said.

Ziva was struggling with her wheelchair. Gibbs stepped up behind her. "Can I help, Ziver?"

"I have got it, Jethro," Ziva grunted.

"Okay then," Gibbs stood on the front porch to wait for his wife. He watched as Ziva struggled. The tremors were much more noticeable now.

"Fuck it. Never mind, Jethro, I do believe I need help," Ziva said.

Gibbs began to push Ziva's chair up the ramp, "It's okay, Ziva. Really it is."

Ziva just shook her head. Gibbs cuddled her close. The two of them didn't need words.

"Okay Ziver. Let's go see our friends," Gibbs said.

"Do you think they'll even want to see me?"

"Yes, of course Ziva. They love you."

Ducky finally served the chili but Ziva was having trouble managing her spoon. Jimmy reached over and carefully helped her with the spoon. Ziva looked ashamed.

"It's okay, Ziva, really. Don't be sorry," Jimmy told her.

"I am 29, Jimmy. I should be able to feed myself."

"Ziva, no one here thinks any less of you. We all know about your Huntington's," Abby said.

Caroline snorted.

"Excuse me, bitch, do you have a problem with Ziva?" Abby asked.

"Abby, Abby just calm down," Tony said.

"No, Tony, she just insulted Ziva."

"Abby," Gibbs said.

"Okay fine," Abby crossed her arms and pouted.

"So, did anyone watch any good T.V. yesterday?" Warren asked.

"Probie-squared, shut up," McGee said.

Tali put a hand softly against McGee's cheek.

"I'm so glad you two are happy," Ziva told them.

"Thanks, Ziva," McGee and Tali said.

Ziva spilled chili on herself again. "Damn it," she swore.

Gibbs got up from the table and picked Ziva up, "Palmer, food, living room, now."

Jimmy picked up the bowls of chili and followed Gibbs into the living room. Gibbs got settled and then began to feed Ziva her chili.

"Jethro, I am so embarrassed."

"Why Ziver?"

"Because I should be able to do this myself."

"Hey, Ziva, this isn't your fault."

"Hey guys, can I sit here too?" Abby asked.

"Sure Abs," Gibbs agreed.

"Hey guys?" Warren asked.

"Come on in Warren," Gibbs said.

"Ah, Jethro. Do you mind if Mr. Palmer and myself join you?" Ducky asked, "We figured that you and Ziva might like some company."

"Sure."

Tim and Tali joined all of them in the living room. The friends sat quietly and chatted a bit about funny memories that they had shared.

Back at the table Tony stared at Caroline.

"We should go in the living room with everybody else," Tony said.

"But the sick girl is in there, Tonio, she scares me."

"She has a name, Caroline. Her name is Ziva. And she's my best friend. She has Huntington's and it isn't contagious. She isn't scary. Well, she could be scary, I mean, she's my crazy ninja chick. But her having Huntington's isn't scary."

"Don't you care about me, Tonio?" Caroline asked.

"Look Caroline, I used to care about you a lot but you seriously need to be okay with the team. They're my family. And if you can't deal with that, then we shouldn't be together because you don't like my family."

"Ziva isn't part of your team anymore. Neither is Gibbs and you still call him Boss. And if they aren't part of your team, then they aren't your family," Caroline said.

"They are my family, Caroline. Team or not. I love them all. So, maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore."

"You have serious issues, Tonio, but fine. I'm done. I'm walking out. Don't bother calling me, Tonio."

"Okay, I won't. And one last thing. My name is Tony."

Caroline walked out and Tony went into the living room.

"Hi Tony. I didn't think you'd be joining us," Ziva said, "Wait, where's Caroline?"

"We broke up, Ziva. She had issues with me thinking of you all as family. So I told her we couldn't see each other anymore."

"I'm so sorry, Tony."

"Nah, don't worry about it."

Tony smiled around the room at all the members of his family, his former and current team and Ziva's sister. He knew he was at home with them, no matter what else happened. So he sat back and relaxed to enjoy the party.


	30. Epilogue

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

Warning: Major character death.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs had spent a lifetime mourning the loss of Shannon and Kelly. He thought he could never imagine this much pain however. He'd sat by Ziva's bed for a week in the hospital, telling her it was okay to go, telling her that she didn't have to stay. Then he'd gone down to the cafeteria for a few minutes and she had died. He heard her monitor flat line just as he walked back to her room. "Ziva!" Gibbs yelled. He cradled his now dead, still warm wife, and pushed away the doctors that tried to determine her clinically dead. He held her and sobbed.

That was a few days ago. Now Tony DiNozzo was getting dressed in his black suit. He'd shined his shoes and picked out a tie his ninja chick had loved. _"It brings out the color of your eyes, Tony." _He sighed. He was going to miss Ziva like crazy.

Tim McGee had put on his best suit, one he hadn't worn since Kate's funeral. Tali had put on a lovely black dress and had wrapped up her black curls in a black head scarf. "Hey Tali, would you marry me?" Tim asked.

Tali hugged him, "Yes of course I will, Tim."

Tim kissed Tali softly and presented her with a sapphire engagement ring.

"It's beautiful, Tim. Come on, we'd better go. We don't want to be late."

Abby Scuito looked like a doll Warren Stephenson thought. In her black dress with lacy tights and lace gloves and pretty parasol she looked like a million bucks. "Ready Warren?" Abby asked.

"Yeah," he said, standing up.

Leon Vance was dressed up and ready to attend Ziva's funeral. Not like he really wanted to, but it was expected after all.

Gibbs was miserable. He kept tearing up but he wished he could quit crying. He didn't want to cry over Ziva. He wanted to remember the good times, like when she and McGee had made spaghetti and turned his kitchen into a disaster. Or when they had sat on the porch just to watch the sunset.

Jackson Gibbs had found a pretty woman named Rachel and he was bringing to Ziva's funeral. He wanted her to meet Leroy. They made it to the cemetery and found seats.

Jethro walked up to his father, "Hey Dad, who's this?"

"Hi Leroy, this is Rachel, my girlfriend."

"You brought a date to my wife's funeral?" Gibbs yelled.

"Easy Leroy, calm down."

_"You brought a date to my wife's funeral?" Gibbs yelled. _

_ "Easy Leroy, calm down, Beth's nice." _

_ "Whatever Dad. Just go." _

_ Gibbs stood next to Shannon and Kelly's graves and he couldn't stop the tears. He couldn't believe they were gone. _

Now Gibbs stood at Ziva's grave and he couldn't stop the tears now either. He couldn't believe she was gone.

"You okay boss?" Tony asked, coming up beside him and laying a rose on Ziva's grave.

"She's gone, DiNozzo. She's gone. What the hell am I supposed to do now?"

"It's okay, boss," McGee said, as he put a rose on Ziva's grave.

"You're gonna be fine, Gibbs," Warren said, putting a rose down and stepping away.

"Bye, Ziva-leh, I will miss you," Tali put a rose down, kissed Gibbs' on the cheek and went to stand with Tim.

Abby walked up and placed her rose down, she hugged Gibbs fiercely and whimpered to Tony, "I'm gonna miss her, Tony."

"We all will, Abs."

Jimmy placed his rose down, "You always scared me, Ziva, but you ended up being an amazing friend."

"Oh my dear, we will miss you so very much," Ducky said, carefully placing his rose down.

"You were a good agent, David. And I'm sorry I ever questioned your loyalty," Vance said as he put down a rose.

Jackson and Rachel put down their roses silently and left.

Tony put his rose down and sighed, "You were always my crazy ninja chick, Ziva. You always had my six. You were a great partner and a wonderful friend. I'm… I'm really gonna miss you, Zee."

Tony squeezed Gibbs's shoulder, "Time to tell her good bye, boss-man."

"I don't want to let her go, DiNozzo."

"I know, boss, but we're all here for you. And we love you."

Gibbs took the rose Tony offered.

"I love you Ziva. I love you so much. You gave me a second chance at life. And we had some good times and great memories. Remember when you and McGee first destroyed my kitchen?" Gibbs shook his head, "I just don't know how you could leave me, Ziver. Goddamn it, I'm gonna miss you."

Gibbs placed his rose down gently and walked beside Tony as he left the grave side. The team, old and new, huddled together even though it was a warm day. No one wanted to be alone today and everyone was left with a piece of themselves missing because Ziva David was gone.


End file.
